Films: T

TAKE AN EASY RIDE
1977
0
A killer on the loose picks up unsuspecting hitch-hikers.
Unique curio which is a madcap mix of all kinds of genres and couldn't have been made at any time other than the mid-'70s. It'd be pushing it to say it's well made, but it does have a peculiar charm.
Dir: Kenneth F Rowles
Stars: Helen Bernat, Margaret Heald, Pauline Bates

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN
1969
*
A perennial small-time criminal finds it difficult to stop his dishonest ways.
Allen's first feature as director, writer and star is an uneven affair which now looks a little weak in places but provides a good quota of belly laughs.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Janet Margolin, Marcel Hillaire

TAKING LIBERTIES
2007
**
Documentary detailing the loss of civil liberties in Britain under the Blair government.
A film similar in style to Private Eye’s In The Back section, in that it is passionately on the side of the people against the State, sometimes giving too much credence to the perceived victim. Much of it is effective and suitably frightening, particularly the sections on the man thrown out of the Labour conference for shouting ‘Nonsense!’ and peace campaigners seeing their efforts thwarted, but it ends on a facile, unpleasant note with a stupid, obscene pop song (which, unbelievably, didn’t see the movie awarded more than a 12 certificate). The DVD comes with a plethora of extras, which range from very interesting to rather whiny.
Dir: Chris Atkins
Narrators: Ashley Jensen, David Morrissey

TALE OF A VAMPIRE
1992
0
A vampire in modern-day south London falls in love with a woman who resembles one he knew centuries ago.
Anaemic horror, sadly ordinary and plodding, but with a moody atmosphere.
Dir: Shimako Sato
Stars: Julian Sands, Suzanna Hamilton, Kenneth Cranham

A TALE OF TWO CITIES
1958
**
An English barrister becomes involved in the French revolution.
Solid version of Dickens' novel, soundly performed.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Dirk Bogarde, Dorothy Tutin, Ian Bannen, Cecil Parker, Alfie Bass, Christopher Lee, Leo McKern, Donald Pleasance

TALES FROM THE CRYPT
1972
***
Five ghoulish stories: All Through The House, Reflection Of Death, Poetic Justice, Wish You Were Here and Blind Alleys.
Probably the best of the Amicus horror anthologies; the tales may be as subtle as a sledgehammer and delight in fake-looking blood but they are all varied and pack a tasty punch. Just what the X certificate was made for.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Peter Cushing, Joan Collins, Richard Greene, Ian Hendry, Patrick Magee, Nigel Patrick, Ralph Richardson, Roy Dotrice

TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE
1990
*
A boy tells three stories to delay being cooked alive: Lot 249, Cat From Hell and Lover's Vow.
Entertaining compendium; tale one is a decent yarn adapted from a Conan Doyle original, tale two is stylish and gory, based on Stephen King’s writings, and the third is dark and creepy but predictable.
Dir: John Harrison
Stars: Deborah Harry, Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore

TALES OF MYSTERY AND IMAGINATION
1968
0
Three Edgar Alan Poe stories: Metzengerstein, William Wilson and Toby Dammit.
Filed under F for Failure, this pretentious anthology only comes to life with Fellini's nightmarish visions in the final segment.
Dir: Roger Vadim, Louis Malle, Frederico Fellini
Stars: Jane Fonda, Peter Fonda, James Robertson Justice, Alain Delon, Brigitte Bardot, Terence Stamp

TALES OF ORDINARY MADNESS
1981
0
A man is a slave to the bottle and to women.
Rather stagnant attempt to bring Bukowski to the big screen; Factotum (qv) was more successful at conveying the bleary lifestyle in compelling fashion.
Dir: Marco Ferreri
Stars: Ben Gazzara, Ornella Muti, Susan Tyrrell

TALES OF TERROR
1962
*
Three Edgar Allen Poe stories: Morella, The Black Cat and The Case Of M Valdemar.
Ghoulish laughs and scares fortified by a splendid trio of lead actors, particularly Price who appears in all three stories. The first tale doesn’t quite have enough drama to sustain it; the second offers many hearty chuckles, especially during Lorre and Price’s wine-drinking competition; the third has a macabre charm – but all three tales could have done with a little cutting.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Basil Rathbone

TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS
1973
*
Four tales of terror: Mr Tiger, Penny Farthing, Mel and Luau.
Half-cooked horror compendium whose gleeful absurdities include Joan Collins' husband being unfaithful to her with a tree. It's hard to resist such far-fetched tat.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Donald Pleasence, Joan Collins, Kim Novak, Mary Tamm, Donald Houston, Suzy Kendall

TALK RADIO
1989
***
A big-mouthed talk show host plays with fire by infuriating his audience.
A compelling study of the restless mind descending into apoplexy; despite being largely speech-based it exerts a real grip from scene to scene, and only loses points for not entirely ringing true, particularly in the closing stages.
Dir: Oliver Stone
Stars: Eric Bogosian, Alec Baldwin, Ellen Greene, Leslie Hope

TALK TO HER
2002
***
Two men are drawn together by women they love who are both in a comatose state.
Bold and brassy sexual melodrama which entwines dark and daring themes; it slowly exerts a grip after its deceptively quiet beginning.
Dir: Pedro Almodovar
Stars: Javier Camara, Dario Grandinetti, Rosario Flores, Leonor Watling

TALKING WALLS
1986
0
A student tapes sexual couplings in a hotel for his thesis.
Hopes that this movie will rise to the standard of barely acceptable are soon dashed...
Dir: Stephen Verona
Stars: Stephen Shellen, Marie Laurin, Sybil Danning

THE TALL GUY
1988
*
The straight man to a comedian has a fling with a nurse.
Disappointing comedy which fizzles out into nothing.
Dir: Mel Smith
Stars: Rowan Atkinson, Jeff Goldblum, Emma Thompson, Anna Massey

TAM LIN
1971
0
An elderly woman uses witchcraft to hang on to her young friends.
Hazy, portentous drama with an incredibly boring first hour; full of irksome cinematic platitudes.
Dir: Roddy McDowall
Stars: Ava Gardner, Ian McShane, Richard Wattis, Cyril Cusack, Stephanie Beacham, Joanna Lumley, Madeline Smith

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
1929
*
Petruchio woos Katherine, or is it the other way around?
This adaptation only uses a fraction of Shakespeare’s words (Pickford is especially taciturn) and includes plenty of knockabout physical humour, much of which works (the director had previously worked on several Harold Lloyd films). The camera movement is surprisingly fluid for the time and it’s quite bright and breezy, but very slight.
Dir: Sam Taylor
Stars: Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks, Edwin Maxwell

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
1967
**
A scoundrel tames his shrewish wife.
Highly accessible Shakespeare with an abundance of bawdy and boisterous antics.
Dir: Franco Zeffirelli
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Michael York, Cyril Cusack, Michael Horden

TANGO & CASH
1988
0
Two cops are framed and must clear their names.
Totally unbelievable cop buddy movie with Stallone delivering a self-mocking parody of his usual screen persona.
Dir: Andrei Konchalovsky
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher, Jack Palance

TANGO OF PERVERSION
1973
*
A love triangle ends in death and disaster.
Essentially a Roald Dahl-esque melodrama but souped up by gaudy visuals, a heady atmosphere and continental kinkiness.
Dir: Costas Karagiannis
Stars: Lakis Komninos, Giorgos Moschidis

TARANTULA
1955
*
A tarantula is injected with a special nutrient formula and grows to an enormous size. It then terrorises Arizona.
B-movie chiller with good special effects but no real surprises.
Dir: Jack Arnold
Stars: John Agar, Mara Corday, Leo G Carroll

TARGET FOR TONIGHT
1941
*
Wartime docudrama detailing an RAF bombing raid on Germany.
Disappointingly dated propaganda film that just doesn’t ring true, especially compared to the likes of 1945’s The True Glory (qv).
Dir: Harry Watt

TARGET: HARRY
1969
0
A pilot gets caught up in a smuggling plot.
Uninteresting, po-faced thriller originally made for television but rejected for being too violent; a decent cast is wasted in travelogue locations that fail to charm.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vic Morrow, Suzanne Pleshette, Victor Buono, Cesar Romero, Stanley Holloway, Charlotte Rampling, Milton Reid

TARGETS
1968
**
A horror film star feels his movies pale beside modern-day violence; meanwhile, a serial sniper is on the loose.
Taut melodrama which rises above its low budget to offer a succinct and frightening comment on crazy gun laws and the fine line between fantasy and reality.
Dir: Peter Bogdanovich
Stars: Boris Karloff, Tim O'Kelly, Arthur Peterson

TARZAN AND HIS MATE
1934
**
English explorers try to persuade Jane to leave Tarzan and come home.
Probably the best of the Weissmuller Tarzans, this raw and vital adventure has a genuine erotic charge and a rip-roaring climax.
Dir: Cedric Gibbons
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, Neil Hamilton

TARZAN AND THE AMAZONS
1945
0
Explorers attempt to steal gold from an obscure tribe of women.
Largely uninteresting antics – the majority of the film doesn’t deign to be part of the Amazons plotline and this Jane doesn’t convince at all; Cheetah is the best thing about it.
Dir: Kurt Neumann
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Brenda Joyce, Johnny Sheffield, Henry Stephenson, Maria Ouspenskaya

TARZAN AND THE GREAT RIVER
1967
0
Tarzan heads to Brazil to stop an evil tribal cult.
Pathetic, juvenile stuff.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Mike Henry, Jan Murray, Manuel Padilla Jr

TARZAN AND THE GREEN GODDESS
1938
0
An edited version of the 1935 serial The New Adventures Of Tarzan (qv).
A weird little production with hilariously speeded up fights and a really awful Tarzan cry.
Dir: Edward A Kull, Wilbur McGaugh
Stars: Herman Brix (Bruce Bennett), Ula Holt, Frank Baker

TARZAN AND THE HUNTRESS
1947
0
An animal trainer's boss attempts to steal animals from the jungle.
Run of the mill entry, Sheffield's last as Boy.
Dir: Kurt Neumann
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Brenda Joyce, Johnny Sheffield, Patricia Morison

TARZAN AND THE JUNGLE BOY
1968
0
A search party scour the jungle for a boy lost some years previously.
Tedious rubbish which put a stop to the regular flow of Tarzans.
Dir: Robert Gordon
Stars: Mike Henry, Rafer Johnson, Aliza Gur

TARZAN AND THE LEOPARD WOMAN
1946
*
Tarzan battles a cult determined to keep Africa a primitive land.
Above average episode; Acquanetta as the titular villainess adds a bit of exotic colour.
Dir: Kurt Neumann
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Brenda Joyce, Johnny Sheffield, Acquanetta

TARZAN AND THE LOST CITY
1998
0
Tarzan protects Amazon from evil white men after a mythical city.
Clichéd adventure that looks like a TV movie trying to be like Indiana Jones.
Dir: Carl Schenkel
Stars: Casper Van Dien, Jane March, Steven Waddington

TARZAN AND THE LOST SAFARI
1957
0
The Jungle King leads five passengers from a crashed aircraft to safety.
Routine jungle antics, the first shot in colour and in African locations, which helps a bit.
Dir: H Bruce Humberstone
Stars: Gordon Scott, Robert Beatty, Yolande Donlan, Wilfrid Hyde-White, George Coulouris

TARZAN AND THE MERMAIDS
1948
0
An evil pearl trader gives Tarzan problems.
Weissmuller's final loin cloth outing was a location-shot 'epic' but suffers from padding despite its short running time.
Dir: Robert Florey
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Brenda Joyce, George Zucco

TARZAN AND THE SHE DEVIL
1953
0
Tarzan goes head to head with ivory poachers.
Thin Ape Man adventures with much stock footage, Barker's last in the role.
Dir: Kurt Neumann
Stars: Lex Barker, Joyce Mackenzie, Raymond Burr

TARZAN AND THE SLAVE GIRL
1951
0
A tribe kidnap Jane.
An hour of cheap jungle fun, done exactly the same as before.
Dir: Lee Sholem
Stars: Lex Barker, Vanessa Brown, Robert Alda, Hurd Hatfield

TARZAN AND THE TRAPPERS
1958
0
The lord of the jungle fights men trying to rob it of animals.
A movie made up of three jammed together episodes of a not very good TV series. Not surprisingly it's no classic but the first half offers some lively spectacle.
Dir: Charles F Haas, Sandy Howard
Stars: Gordon Scott, Eve Brent, Rickie Sorensen

TARZAN AND THE VALLEY OF GOLD
1966
0
Tarzan battles a mad millionaire who believes in a fabled valley of gold.
Mike Henry's first sees the hero modernised and once you're over the shock, this colourful entry has the odd pleasure.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Mike Henry, David Opatoshu, Nancy Kovack

TARZAN ESCAPES
1936
*
A white hunter attempts to cage Tarzan and return him to civilisation.
Much re-cut yarn that's among the better ones in the series despite the growing domestication of Tarzan and Jane.
Dir: Richard Thorpe
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, John Buckler, E E Clive

TARZAN FINDS A SON!
1939
*
The jungle pair find an orphan in the jungle and raise him as their own.
Patchy but generally agreeable adventure with the debut of Boy to add something different.
Dir: Richard Thorpe
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, Johnny Sheffield, Ian Hunter

TARZAN GOES TO INDIA
1962
0
Tarzan helps save hundreds of elephants from drowning.
Location-shot, quite honourable but regrettably dull Ape Man anecdote.
Dir: John Guillermin
Stars: Jock Mahoney, Leo Gordon, Mark Dana

TARZAN IN MANHATTAN
1989 (TV)
0
The ape man travels to America when Cheeta is kidnapped.
Dumb fun that's pointless to take seriously; very much a TV movie, the bargain-bin actors are strangely likeable, especially Curtis, who's a bit of a hoot.
Dir: Michael Schultz
Stars: Joe Lara, Kim Crosby, Jan-Michael Vincent, Tony Curtis

TARZAN THE APE MAN
1932
*
Explorers in Africa include a young woman called Jane, who takes a shine to jungle living.
The first talkie Tarzan and the one with the best ever leads, this unrefined artefact contains a surprising amount of sex and violence.
Dir: W S Van Dyke
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, Neil Hamilton, C Aubrey Smith

TARZAN THE APE MAN
1959
0
The ape man finds a new friend among some explorers.
Stodgy remake using much stock footage.
Dir: Joseph M Newman
Stars: Denny Miller, Cesare Danova, Joanna Barnes

TARZAN THE APE MAN
1981
0
The tale once more, mainly from Jane's point of view.
A truly abhorrent feature in which the viewer has to sit through mounds of tedium and irritating shouting by Harris to get to the sexy bits with dozy Bo; a rare example of a feature whose end credits are a thousand times more interesting than the film itself.
Dir: John Derek
Stars: Bo Derek, Richard Harris, John Phillip Law, Miles O'Keefe

TARZAN THE FEARLESS
1933
0
A price of £1,000 is put on Tarzan's head by white hunters.
As primitive as the ape man therein, and a chore to watch now. Edited from the first four chapters of a serial.
Dir: Robert F Hill
Stars: Buster Crabbe, Julie Bishop, Edward Woods

TARZAN THE MAGNIFICENT
1960
**
Tarzan escorts a dangerous prisoner out of the jungle to the authorities.
Confident, relatively sophisticated entry that benefits from no Jane, location shooting and a good cast.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Gordon Scott, Jock Mahoney, Betta St John, John Carradine, Lionel Jeffries

TARZAN TRIUMPHS
1943
*
Nazis invade the jungle.
Silly but quite amusing tosh in which Tarzan does his bit for the war effort.
Dir: Wilhelm Thiele
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Johnny Sheffield, Frances Gifford

TARZAN’S DESERT MYSTERY
1943
*
The ape man battles Nazis and dinosaurs for a special serum.
Wild war propaganda that revels in its ludicrousness.
Dir: Wilhelm Thiele
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Nancy Keller, Johnny Sheffield, Otto Kruger

TARZAN’S FIGHT FOR LIFE
1958
0
Tarzan must find a serum against the clock.
Another simple-minded Tarzan yarn.
Dir: H Bruce Humberstone
Stars: Gordon Scott, Eve Brent, Rickie Sorensen

TARZAN’S GREATEST ADVENTURE
1959
**
Tarzan pits his wits against four merciless diamond hunters.
One of the finest Ape Man adventures, with plenty of meaty action and even sturdy characterisation.
Dir: John Guillermin
Stars: Gordon Scott, Anthony Quayle, Sara Shane, Sean Connery

TARZAN’S HIDDEN JUNGLE
1955
0
Ruthless hunters plague the jungle king.
Low budget debut for Scott offering up the same old story.
Dir: Harold D Schuster
Stars: Gordon Scott, Vera Miles, Jack Elam

TARZAN’S MAGIC FOUNTAIN
1949
0
A fountain in the jungle appears to offer eternal youth.
Dull exploits, the first Tarzan film for an actor who never appeared well built enough for the role.
Dir: Lee Sholem
Stars: Lex Barker, Brenda Joyce, Albert Dekker, Evelyn Ankers

TARZAN’S NEW YORK ADVENTURE
1942
*
The ape man heads to the Big Apple after Boy is kidnapped.
A nice idea not too well handled, resulting in a slow movie.
Dir: Richard Thorpe
Stars: Johnny Weismuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, Johnny Sheffield, Virginia Grey

TARZAN’S PERIL
1951
0
Escaped convicts sell weapons to a violent tribe.
Almost inactive, charmless, cheapjack stuff.
Dir: Byron Haskin
Stars: Lex Barker, Virginia Huston, George Macready

TARZAN’S REVENGE
1938
0
Hunters once again invade Tarzan's land.
Woeful entry, dreadful in every department; the lead is a bad actor even by Tarzan standards.
Dir: D Ross Lederman
Stars: Glenn Morris, Eleanor Holm, George Barbier

TARZAN’S SAVAGE FURY
1952
0
Tarzan's cousin arrives in Africa looking for diamonds.
Another medium jungle story.
Dir: Cy Endfield
Stars: Lex Barker, Dorothy Hart, Patric Knowles

TARZAN’S SECRET TREASURE
1941
0
Gold is discovered near the ape man's home.
Mundane, predictable and unoriginal happenings in darkest Africa.
Dir: Richard Thorpe
Stars: Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan, Johnny Sheffield, Reginald Owen

TARZAN’S THREE CHALLENGES
1963
0
Tarzan must perform three tasks to stop an evil ruler.
Disappointingly flat Tarzan movie that suffered production troubles.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Jock Mahoney, Woody Strode, Tsu Kobayashi

A TASTE OF EXCITEMENT
1968
0
A woman holidaying in the South of France suspects someone is trying to kill her.
Dry, plodding and humourless thriller with colourless leads, it looks like a cross between a TV movie and a travelogue; interminable after a lively beginning.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Eva Renzi, David Buck, Peter Vaughan, Peter Bowles

TASTE OF FEAR
1961
**
A woman who nearly drowned and is confined to a wheelchair keeps seeing her dead father.
Hammer's first and best Les Diaboliques imitation is an engaging and twisty chiller full of banging shutters, flickering candles and sudden shocks.
Dir: Seth Holt
Stars: Susan Strasberg, Ronald Lewis, Ann Todd, Christopher Lee

A TASTE OF HONEY
1961
**
A simple young woman becomes pregnant by a black sailor; she is then cared for by a kindly homosexual.
Unusual, quirky characters blend with starkly shot urban settings in this important and striking kitchen sink drama that boasts particularly idiosyncratic dialogue; some of it was lifted for use in songs by The Smiths, and they are also indebted to the dank, salty feel of the film for much of their early work.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Rita Tushingham, Dora Bryan, Robert Stephens, Murray Melvin

TASTE THE BLOOD OF DRACULA
1970
*
Three elderly gentlemen decide it would be a good idea to bring Dracula back to life.
Predictable and slightly tired but reasonably watchable entry in Hammer's series.
Dir: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Christopher Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Gwen Watford, Linda Hayden, Peter Sallis

TATTOO
1980
*
A disturbed tattoo artist kidnaps a beautiful model.
Stretched out Psycho-like thriller that might have explored its concept of the obsessed tattooist in more daring fashion, although it does reach a twisted and titillating conclusion. Dern's performance is worth a watch as is Adams' for different reasons.
Dir: Bob Brooks
Stars: Bruce Dern, Maud Adams, Leonard Frey

TATTOO
2002
*
A young cop investigates a series of murders possibly committed by a demented tattooist.
Glum but effective German thriller, moderately paced but quirky in detail.
Dir: Robert Schwentke
Stars: August Diehl, Christian Redl, Nadeshda Brennicke

TAXI DRIVER
1976
****
A Vietnam veteran works as a night-time taxi driver in New York and is eventually pushed over the edge.
Remarkably made character study with several superbly realised scenes that have passed into film folklore.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Robert De Niro, Cybill Shepherd, Peter Boyle, Jodie Foster, Harvey Keitel

TEEN WITCH
1989
0
An unpopular teenager discovers she is descended from witches and uses her powers accordingly.
Teen Wolf imitation that will pass the time for undemanding adolescents.
Dir: Dorian Walker
Stars: Robyn Lively, Dan Gauthier, Joshua John Miller

TEEN WOLF
1985
0
A high school boy discovers he is a werewolf.
Cheap and crass teen comedy that would have bombed were it not for the star.
Dir: Rod Daniel
Stars: Michael J Fox, James Hampton, Susan Ursitti

TEEN WOLF TOO
1987
0
Another teenager turns into a werewolf.
As bad as the original, inept in every way, and with a nobody lead this time.
Dir: Christopher Leitch
Stars: Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin

TEENAGE MONSTER
1958
0
A teenager is exposed to meteor rays and becomes a monster.
Not just a B film, maybe a C or D one; dialogue, acting and atmosphere are all nondescript.
Dir: Jacques R Marquette
Stars: Anne Gwynne, Stuart Wade, Gloria Castillo

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
1990
*
Four humanoid turtles who are martial arts masters battle evil in the sewers.
The strangely popular cartoon characters found themselves dumped in this cheap and murky looking vehicle with a threadbare plot which hollowly echoes similar kiddie adventures of the past. Didn't stop it making a ton of money though.
Dir: Steve Barron
Stars: Judith Hoag, Elias Koteas, Josh Pais

THE TELL-TALE HEART
1960
*
A man murders another and puts him beneath the floorboards; he then starts to hear what appears to be a beating heart.
Acceptable version of Poe’s tale which was perhaps more effectively filmed as an eight minute cartoon seven years previously.
Dir: Ernest Morris
Stars: Laurence Payne, Adrienne Corri, Dermot Walsh

THE TEMP
1993
0
A businessman's secretary subtly makes life unbearable for him.
Dim thriller which gets more ridiculous the longer it lasts.
Dir: Tom Holland
Stars: Timothy Hutton, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dwight Schultz, Faye Dunaway

THE TEMPEST
1980
0
An elderly magician lives on a desolate isle with his innocent daughter.
The director's idiosyncratic take on Shakespeare's play is adorned with his usual bizarre and vulgar imagery and none the better for it.
Dir: Derek Jarman
Stars: Peter Bull, David Meyer, Neil Cunningham, Toyah Wilcox

‘10’
1979
*
A man scores women out of ten, then meets one who most definitely deserves the top score.
Fitfully funny comedy which made worldwide stars out of Moore and Derek, who here looks sensational.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: Dudley Moore, Julie Andrews, Bo Derek, Robert Webber, Dee Wallace-Stone, Brian Dennehy

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1956
**
Moses frees the slaves and is given the law of God on a stone tablet.
De Mille's remake of his own 1923 film, endowed with even more spectacular Almighty-inspired special effects, is an example of decent, weighty, lengthy storytelling.
Dir: Cecil B De Mille
Stars: Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Edward G Robinson, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, Cedric Hardwicke, Nina Foch, Vincent Price, John Carradine

TEN LITTLE INDIANS
1966
*
Ten people are lured to an isolated house and killed one by one.
Lighthearted version of the Agatha Christie mystery complete with a 'Whodunit Break' near the end (in some prints), hindered by a couple of flat performances and uninspired direction.
Dir: George Pollock
Stars: Hugh O'Brian, Shirley Eaton, Fabian, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Dennis Price, Leo Genn

10 RILLINGTON PLACE
1971
*
The life and crimes of London murderer John Christie.
Rather pedestrian, giving little insight into his motives, and too earnestly unexciting for its own good.
Dir: Richard Fleischer
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Judy Geeson, John Hurt, Pat Heywood

THE TENANT
1976
*
A man moving into an apartment where the last tenant killed himself fears that it is his destiny to go the same way.
Long-drawn-out and boring psychological drama a long way from the director's similar Repulsion.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Roman Polanski, Isabelle Adjani, Melvyn Douglas

TENDER AND PERVERSE EMMANUELLE
1973
0
A pianist is found dead at the bottom of a cliff.
Like a bad dream you'd have after eating too much cheese; you'd be mighty confused but at least enjoy the sexy bits if nothing else.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Norma Castell, Jack Taylor, Lina Romay

TENDER COUSINS
1980
0
A 14-year-old boy takes his first steps into sex in a busy country house in 1939.
This photographer-turned-director may be able to frame a pretty picture but he knows very little about character or narrative, as way too many sketched-in folk amble around chitter-chattering to no discernible effect. There are moments of eroticism but the film’s a huge missed opportunity considering the storyline’s potential.
Dir: David Hamilton
Stars: Thierry Tevini, Anja Schute, Valerie Dumas

TENDER DRACULA
1974
0
Two writers spend the night at the castle of an actor known for his vampire roles.
A horror comedy musical that you quickly realise is senseless garbage without a single redeeming feature, including Cushing. Why did he sign up for trash like this?
Dir: Pierre Grunstein
Stars: Peter Cushing, Alida Valli, Nathalie Corval

TENEBRAE
1982
*
An American writer in Rome is stalked by a serial killer.
Ludicrous shocker with more holes than a string vest, redeemed by some smart dialogue and a vibrant sense of style.
Dir: Dario Argento
Stars: Anthony Franciosa, Christian Borromeo, Mirella D'Angelo

TERKEL IN TROUBLE
2004
0
A boy bullied at school turns on his tormentors.
Astonishingly appalling drivel, an animated Danish feature that loses everything in translation, although it may well have always been plotless, irritating, unsympathetic, unfunny and inane.
Dir: Lresten Vestbjerg Andersen etc
Voices: Bill Bailey, Adrian Edmondson, Johnny Vegas

THE TERMINAL
2004
*
A man from an East European country becomes resident of an American airport when his nation is invaded.
Unconvincing drama with a sluggish pace and vats of sentimental sludge.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci

THE TERMINAL MAN
1974
*
A scientist is given a microcomputer in his head to control his violent impulses, but things go wrong.
Slow starting sci-fi with a polished look.
Dir: Mike Hodges
Stars: George Segal, Joan Hackett, Richard A Dysart, Donald Moffat

THE TERMINATOR
1984
**
A cyborg from the future is sent to kill a woman who will give birth to a male who will go on to be victorious in a war against robots.
Ruthless, thrilling sci-fi that gave the monosyllabic star one of his most iconic roles.
Dir: James Cameron
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, Lance Henriksen

TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY
1991
***
A cyborg arrives from the future to kill John Connor, but help is at hand.
Relentless action thriller whose superbly realised chase and combat sequences more than mask the holes in the story.
Dir: James Cameron
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES
2003
0
A female Terminator comes from the future to slay John Connor.
Soulless, vacuous, ridiculous sequel whose lenient 12 certificate brings shame on the BBFC.
Dir: Jonathan Mostow
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, Kristanna Loken

TERMINUS
1961
**
Documentary following comings and goings at London's Waterloo station.
A valuable slice of real-life filmmaking that provides a droll look at everyday existence.
Dir: John Schlesinger

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
1983
***
An eccentric widow dabbles in dating while her daughter struggles with bringing up a family.
Loosely constructed but immensely successful combination of laughs and tears that allows the actors to perform at optimum levels.
Dir: James L Brooks
Stars: Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Daniels, John Lithgow, Danny DeVito

THE TERROR
1938
0
A criminal mastermind plans an elaborate gold robbery.
Creaky remake of a 1928 Edgar Wallace mystery.
Dir: Richard Bird
Stars: Wilfrid Lawson, Bernard Lee, Arthur Wontner, Alastair Sim

TERROR
1978
0
An ancient witch's curse leads to gruesome deaths in the modern-day.
Sadly, the fag end of independent British horror productions, this shabby Suspiria-influenced shocker looks more like a home movie than a feature for mass audience consumption (but, amazingly, was the number one film in the country for one week).
Dir: Norman J Warren
Stars: John Nolan, Carolyn Courage, James Aubrey, Glynis Barber

TERROR AT LONDON BRIDGE
1985 (TV)
0
London Bridge is moved brick by brick to Arizona, and a phantom of Jack the Ripper appears to go with it.
Bizarre little horror with shocks telegraphed well in advance; but not quite as bad as it might have been.
Dir: E W Swackhamer
Stars: David Hasselhoff, Adrienne Barbeau, Clu Gulager

TERROR AT THE OPERA
1990
*
An opera singer is plagued by a deranged fan.
The photography is more than stylish, the story somewhat senseless and the Sound Of Music ending a mistake.
Dir: Dario Argento
Stars: Cristina Marsillach, Ian Charleson, Daria Nicolodi

TERROR BY NIGHT
1945
*
Sherlock Holmes investigates the theft of a diamond on a train journey.
Rathbone's penultimate Holmes movie suffers from some stiff acting and ceaselessly recurring scenery but provides the odd cosy frisson.
Dir: Roy William Neill
Stars: Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce, Alan Mowbray, Dennis Hoey

TERROR EXPRESS!
1979
*
A gang of thugs terrorise the inhabitants of a night train.
Deliciously seedy and sleazy shocker with utterly corrupt morals. Sounds bad to say it, but it's quite refreshing to see artistic endeavour so freely expressed.
Dir: Ferdinando Baldi
Stars: Silvia Dionisio, Werner Pochath, Zora Kerova

TERROR EYES
1981
*
A murderer in a motorcycle helmet picks off pupils from a night school.
Adequate, rather wishy-washy horror thriller with a few above average scenes, chiefly the ones in the shower and the cafe kitchen, which both slowly build titillating suspense. The motorcyclist killer’s getup is also quite effective.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Leonard Mann, Rachel Ward, Drew Snyder

TERROR IN THE AISLES
1984
*
Compilation of clips and trailers from mainly horror films.
Curious but somehow beguiling oddity that features clips from films as diverse as The Omen, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Scared Stiff and Marathon Man. Nothing's particularly scary because the footage is all ripped out of context, but there's some pleasure is seeing them assembled into a celebration of the genre.
Dir: Andrew J Kuehn
Stars: Donald Pleasance, Nancy Allen

TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM
1973
0
The owner of a wax museum gets villainous exhibit figures to do his dirty work.
Shoddily made horror, a bit like a TV movie, which provides the odd decent waxwork-inspired shock for us and the elderly cast.
Dir: Georg Fenady
Stars: Ray Milland, Broderick Crawford, Elsa Lanchester, Louis Hayward, Maurice Evans, John Carradine

TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
1974
0
Godzilla faces a mechanical version of himself.
The makers of these Japanese Godzilla films rarely strayed from their nutty formula, and one imagines poor little kids sat in the cinema, dumped there by their parents. It's interesting to note, however, the devoted following the series has by otherwise intelligent European and American adults.
Dir: Ishiro Honda
Stars: Katsuhiko Sasaki, Tomoko Ai

THE TERROR OF THE TONGS
1961
*
In Hong Kong in 1910, an evil gang rules the province.
Flat Hammer yarn with a narrative that singularly fails to inspire any excitement, despite the odd gory moment.
Dir: Anthony Bushell
Stars: Geoffrey Toone, Christopher Lee, Yvonne Monlaur, Burt Kwouk, Milton Reid

TERROR ON THE 40TH FLOOR
1974 (TV)
0
The Christmas office party is interrupted by fire.
TV's Towering Inferno, boring and padded, and peopled by cardboard characters who aren't even played by star names.
Dir: Jerry Jameson
Stars: John Forsythe, Joseph Campanella, Lynn Carlin

THE TERRORNAUTS
1967
0
A group of scientists are transported to a saucer in outer space.
Cheapo, mostly studio-bound sci-fi even less sophisticated and more laughable than 1960s Doctor Who, although in attractive bright colour.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Simon Oates, Zena Marshall, Charles Hawtrey, Patricia Hayes

TESS
1981
**
In the 19th century, a simple rural girl is sought by two different men.
Classy version of Thomas Hardy's novel in which both the star and the surrounding landscape look gorgeous.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Nastassja Kinski, Peter Firth, Leigh Lawson, John Collin

TESTAMENT
1983
*
Life for an American family after a nuclear attack.
Low key, glum post-apocalyptic drama concentrating on personal agonies.
Dir: Lynne Littman
Stars: Jane Alexander, William Devane, Lukas Haas

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
1974
**
A giant maniac with a huge chainsaw butchers those who come to his territory.
By no means a classic film, in fact a pretty amateurish one, but done with enough verve, humour, power and disturbing detail to reserve its place in the annals of horror history.
Dir: Tobe Hooper
Stars: Marilyn Burns, Allen Danziger, Gunnar Hansen

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
2003
**
Slick remake that's technically better than the original if without its rawness. It hikes the tension up early on and keeps it at a pitch.
Dir: Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, R Lee Ermey, Andrew Bryniarski

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2
1986
*
A marshal goes after the cannibal family.
Madcap sequel that effectively turns into a hilarious, even more violent remake of the first movie.
Dir: Tobe Hooper
Stars: Dennis Hopper, Caroline Williams, Bill Moseley
Sequel: Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (qv)

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
2005
***
A spinmaster for a tobacco company is forced to examine his role.
Super-smart satire that sees the best dialogue in years mouthed by a fine cast under quirky but sure-handed direction.
Dir: Jason Reitman
Stars: Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, William H Macy, Rob Lowe, Katie Holmes, Robert Duvall

THAT KIND OF GIRL
1963
*
A beautiful Austrian au pair in London unfortunately contracts VD.
A warning against sexual promiscuousness that thankfully doesn’t become preachy until the latter stages – before then we get a rather sweet tale of naivety set against a background that captures a flavour of the times. Although made very cheaply and with an intrusive score, it has some quiet charm.
Dir: Gerry O’Hara
Stars: Margaret-Rose Keil, David Weston, Linda Marlowe, Peter Burton

THAT’LL BE THE DAY
1973
*
A discontented young man decides on a career in the pop business.
Curious, downbeat drama which kind of ends at what could be the beginning. In its favour, the cast and song numbers have interest.
Dir: Claude Whatham
Stars: David Essex, Ringo Starr, Rosemary Leach, James Booth, Billy Fury, Keith Moon

THAT’S CARRY ON
1977
0
Compilation of clips from various Carry On films.
A rather randomly selected collection of moments from most of the Carry On films; the film isn't helped by toe-curling presentation from Williams and Windsor.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor

THAT’S MY WIFE
1929
*
After his wife walks out on him, Ollie enlists Stan to pose as his other half in order to persuade a rich uncle to leave him his fortune.
Sprightly short which sustains its drag premise and provides some amusingly risqué moments in the restaurant.
Dir: Lloyd French
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, William Courtright

THEATRE OF BLOOD
1972
***
A failed Shakespearean actor kills his harshest critics in the manner of murders from the Bard's plays.
Good gory fun in which Price is given free rein to do his demented killer act, which he accepts with relish – the Shakespeare quotes in particular are a delight. And pretty much every one of the cast is a national treasure.
Dir: Douglas Hickox
Stars: Vincent Price, Diana Rigg, Ian Hendry, Michael Horden, Arthur Lowe, Robert Morley, Dennis Price, Milo O'Shea, Eric Sykes, Madeline Smith, Diana Dors

THEATRE OF DEATH
1966
0
Vampiric murders in Paris are traced back to a theatre.
Dingy thriller with very little horror or flavour of Paris.
Dir: Samuel Gallu
Stars: Christopher Lee, Julian Glover, Leila Goldoni

THEIR FIRST MISTAKE
1932
**
Ollie adopts a baby to assuage his wife, but he and Stan end up having to care for it.
Bright star comedy with a particularly splendid first two thirds, as the boys set out their demented plan for happiness; it then runs out of ideas and ends on an inconsequential note.
Dir: George Marshall
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch, Billy Gilbert

THEIR PURPLE MOMENT
1928
*
Stan and Ollie sneak out on their wives for a night on the town.
The ideas in this short would be developed with more success later; here the comedy bubbles along nicely enough until the rather abrupt, unsatisfying conclusion.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Tiny Sandford

THELMA & LOUISE
1991
**
A waitress and a housewife shoot a rapist and take off in their car through the desert.
Smart and offbeat road movie, skilfully shot and performed, a satisfying entertainment.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Brad Pitt

THEM!
1954
**
Thanks to nuclear tests, ants grow to an enormous size and attack the population.
Beginning with eerie desert scenes and ending in fiery city scenes, this is the first and best of the '50s giant bug movies, although it has a faded air now, inevitably.
Dir: Gordon Douglas
Stars: James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, Joan Weldon

THEM THAR HILLS
1934
**
Stan and Ollie head to the countryside to relax but end up getting inadvertently sloshed on moonshine.
Pleasant bucolic knockabout that pits the boys against their frequent adversary Charlie Hall, which is always great value.
Dir: Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch, Charlie Hall, Billy Gilbert

THERE WILL BE BLOOD
2007
***
At the start of the 20th century, an oil man tries to make as much money as possible by finding lucrative new fields.
Character-driven epic that offers a great deal to chew on and admire: the sweeping cinematography, a meaty, layered storyline, an unusual, effective score and, most of all, Day-Lewis's deep, textured performance that’s worth the price of admission alone – he ensures that nothing is assumable about his character and, as the movie progresses, it becomes impossible to guess what he will do next. Remarkably different from pretty much any other film, it's easily one of the best of its year.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano, Kevin J O’Connor, Ciaran Hinds

THERE’S A GIRL IN MY SOUP
1970
*
A vain, womanising TV personality takes on the tough job of seducing a 19-year-old girl he desires.
Sellers lifts this middling sex comedy out of the ordinary, wickedly playing an ageing lothario with similarities to his real life self.
Dir: Roy Boulting
Stars: Peter Sellers, Goldie Hawn, Tony Britton, Nicky Henson, Diana Dors

THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
1954
*
A family showbiz act begins to break up when one meets a beautiful girl.
Entertaining musical with good tunes and cast, particularly a luscious Monroe.
Dir: Walter Lang
Stars: Marilyn Monroe, Dan Dailey, Ethel Merman, Donald O'Connor

THERE’S ONLY ONE JIMMY GRIMBLE
2000
*
A bullied schoolboy takes solace in football, and tastes success thanks to a former professional player.
Hardly original or unpredictable drama which nevertheless, after a gloomy start, becomes quite uplifting.
Dir: John Hay
Stars: Lewis McKenzie, Jane Lapotaire, Gina McKee, Robert Carlyle

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
1998
*
A man gets the chance to once again meet up with the girl he adored at high school.
Nasty comedy that treads an uncertain line between high farce (which is sometimes very funny) and serious unpleasantness.
Dir: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Stars: Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, Ben Stiller, Lee Evans

THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE
1967
0
Aliens take over the minds of humans to use them as slave labour.
Delightfully daft sci-fi that descends into silliness after a chilling introduction.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Robert Hutton, Michael Gough, Jennifer Jayne, Bernard Kay

THEY DRIVE BY NIGHT
1938
**
An ex con is accused of the murder of his girlfriend.
Superior British thriller showing some excellent work, particularly in the first half.
Dir: Arthur B Woods
Stars: Emlyn Williams, Ernest Thesiger, Anna Konstam

THEY GO BOOM
1929
*
Stan tries to help Ollie with his cold, but only makes things worse.
Confined star comedy providing some amusement; there’s little that’s truly side-splitting but it’s nice to see them work pratfalls out of a limited plot. A couple of years later they added a dog to the scenario, with some success, in Laughing Gravy.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall

THEY LIVE
1989
**
A construction worker acquires some glasses that give him the ability to spot which humans are really invading aliens.
Droll sci-fi which just about successfully combines social comment and expansive action.
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
1972
0
A modern-day New Yorker believes that he is Sherlock Holmes.
A strange film about hiding from the awfulness of reality that’s not especially appetising.
Dir: Anthony Harvey
Stars: George C Scott, Joanne Woodward, Jack Gilford

THEY’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE
1984
0
A man appears to be murdering his way to an inheritance.
Acceptable exploitation film in which the killer can be guessed 20 minutes from the end. And Danning could never be a teacher.
Dir: Howard Avedis
Stars: Sybil Danning, Eric Brown, Andrew Prine

THICKER THAN WATER
1935
**
Stan and Ollie waste the housekeeping money on a grandfather clock which is promptly destroyed.
The boys' last short may not of been among their finest but has some quirky ideas, including the optical wipes and the finale in which Stan and Ollie end up having swapped bodies.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Daphne Pollard, James Finlayson, Charlie Hall

THE THIEF
1952
0
A nuclear physicist in Washington is really a foreign spy.
An attempt to make a thriller with no dialogue whatsoever - not surprisingly the strain soon shows and the film struggles to maintain the interest.
Dir: Russell Rouse
Stars: Ray Milland, Martin Gabel, Harry Bronson

THE THIEF OF BAGDAD
1924
*
To win the hand of a Caliph's daughter, a thief embarks on a perilous quest.
What was breath-taking and bewitching at the time now seems obvious and yawn-worthy, although the monsters have retained a certain charm.
Dir: Raoul Walsh
Stars: Douglas Fairbanks, Snitz Edwards, Charles Belcher

THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD
1940
***
A thief falls in with a genie and they have magical adventures together.
Majestic fantasy filled with an overpowering sense of magic and wonder.
Dir: Michael Powell, Ludwig Berger, Tim Whelan
Stars: Conrad Veidt, Sabu, June Duprez, John Justin

THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD
1978 (TV)
0
A wily thief helps a prince win the hand of a beautiful princess.
Made for TV but given a cinema release in Britain, this pedestrian remake lacks the splendour and technical proficiency of the movie made 38 years previously.
Dir: Clive Donner
Stars: Roddy McDowall, Frank Finlay, Peter Ustinov, Terence Stamp, Ian Holm

THIEF OF HEARTS
1984
0
A married woman is seduced by a stranger who knows all about her because he has read her diaries.
Minor studio product, something to watch on a rainy day.
Dir: Douglas Day Stewart
Stars: Steven Bauer, Barbara Williams, John Getz, David Caruso

THE THIN BLUE LINE
1988
*
Documentary which successfully attempted to prove the innocence of a man accused of killing a policeman.
Probing and responsible filmmaking that’s among the most praised of its genre – it’s certainly tightly controlled and technically adept but it can’t escape the fact that it’s largely footage of people sitting talking to the camera.
Dir: Errol Morris

THE THIN MAN
1934
***
A husband and wife detective team solve a murder.
Delightful freewheeling comedy thriller which spawned several imitations and sequels.
Dir: W S Van Dyke
Stars: William Powell, Myrna Loy, Maureen O'Sullivan, Cesar Romero

THE THING
1982
***
Scientists in the Antarctic are menaced by a shape-shifting alien.
Superior remake of the below that ratchets up the tension, then frequently splits it asunder with superbly gruesome special effects.
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, T K Carter, Keith David

THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD
1951
**
Scientists battle a blood-thirsty alien amid snowy wastes.
Terse sci-fi offering a few well-timed shocks.
Dir: Christian Nyby, Howard Hawks
Stars: Kenneth Tobey, Margaret Sheridan, James Arness

THINGS TO COME
1936
***
Earth's future goes from war and deprivation to a new age of reason.
For the time, a movie that was immense in scope and ambition and one that dazzled and frightened movie goers. Time has not treated it well, with the stilted acting and dry, humourless scripting being particularly evident, but it remains a dynamic spectacle that still demands attention.
Dir: William Cameron Menzies
Stars: Raymond Massey, Edward Chapman, Ralph Richardson, Cedric Hardwicke

THE THIRD MAN
1949
****
An American writer arriving in post-war Vienna is informed that the friend who was waiting for him has been murdered.
A classic slice of post-war cinema that's strikingly shot from first frame to last, backed by that zimmer score and bolstered by superb performances from every member of the cast. One of the great British films, and certainly one of the most astonishingly original.
Dir: Carol Reed
Stars: Joseph Cotten, Alida Valli, Orson Welles, Trevor Howard, Bernard Lee, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Paul Horbiger

THIRST
1979
*
A modern-day vampire cult try to recruit the ancestor of legendary bloodsucker Elizabeth Bathory.
The concept is fairly original and there are some attention-grabbing surreal images, but the plot's thinness does show through – a sparse amount of dialogue and an ambling, dreamlike midsection are notable signs of this.
Dir: Rod Hardy
Stars: Chantal Contouri, Shirley Cameron, Max Phipps, David Hemmings

THIRTEEN GHOSTS
2001
0
A family are forced to endure a house that is a box of deadly tricks as part of an inheritance.
A lesson in how not to make a shocker, this tat is devoid of suspense and subtlety, has a rubbish cast, is confined and claustrophobic, and is never less than extremely grating.
Dir: Steve Beck
Stars: Tony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth

13HRS
2010
0
Youths hide from a vicious monster in a big house.
Why can’t British horror films have casts of middle-aged or older people any more? Why can’t filmmakers be more imaginative than simply relaying a siege/chase scenario? Why do snotty youths squabbling, swearing, crying and moaning pass for entertainment? Why do dire and depressing movies like these even have to be made?
Dir: Jonathan Glendening
Stars: Isabella Calthorpe, Tom Felton, Gemma Atkinson, Joshua Bowman

THE 39 STEPS
1935
****
A man is forced to go on the run when the spy he has befriended is killed.
The quintessential Hitchcock chase thriller, full of his delicious touches, it comfortably stands up to multiple viewings after all these years.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Robert Donat, Madeleine Carroll, Godfrey Tearle, Peggy Ashcroft

THE 39 STEPS
1959
*
A man is chased for a murder he didn't commit.
Adequate if poorly paced remake whose only improvement on its predecessor is being in colour.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Kenneth More, Taina Elg, Barry Jones, Reginald Beckwith

THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS
1978
**
A man attempts to stop spies blowing up Big Ben.
Enjoyable, eventful remake which happens to stick a lot closer to the original book than Hitchcock did.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Robert Powell, David Warner, Eric Porter, Karen Dotrice, John Mills

30 YEARS OF FUN
1963
*
One of the weaker Youngson compilations, this midway effort has highlights in the form of Chaplin’s Easy Street and The Ring, and Stan and Ollie in The Lucky Dog, but some lesser material – in fact the historical footage is sometimes more interesting than the comedy footage. Poor picture quality is also very evident now.
Dir: Robert Youngson
Narrator: Jay Jackson. Stars: Charles Chaplin, Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Buster Keaton, Harry Langdon, ‘Snub’ Pollard, Charley Chase

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED
2006
*
Documentary about the American movie ratings board and its alleged faults. While not the devastating exposé its maker possibly thinks it is, this is an interesting if uneven piece of campaigning filmmaking whose targets vary in validity.
Dir/Narrator: Kirby Dick

THIS HAPPY BREED
1944
**
The story of a London family between the wars.
Flawed it may be, but this very English drama is important because it says a good deal about the character of our people – their humour, resourcefulness, stoicism, habits – and does so in a manner untainted by cynicism and rancour. It’s only cinematic in short bursts, and often too talky and soapy, but was not undeserving of the careful restoration it received in 2008, when its grey skies were literally turned blue.
Dir: David Lean
Stars: Robert Newton, Celia Johnson, Stanley Holloway, John Mills, Kay Walsh

THIS IS ENGLAND
2007
**
In the Midlands in 1983, a young boy takes up with a group of skinheads.
A kind of compilation of bits from the director's previous features, this honest, vivid drama gains from its naturalistic performances and observant asides, but has brutal and hysterical extremes that may alienate many audiences, and the determination to embed the narrative in a political context (including, for example, the final Falklands montage) is misguided at best and insensitive at worst.
Dir: Shane Meadows
Stars: Thomas Turgoose, Stephen Graham, Joseph Gilgun

THIS IS SPINAL TAP
1983
****
Mock documentary on a hopeless British heavy metal band touring America.
Irresistible comedy classic that offers a trough of pleasures; the performances are note perfect, the semi-improvised script is witty and perceptive, and even the characters' names are a joy. Almost any scene could be taken out and proudly exhibited.
Dir: Rob Reiner
Stars: Rob Reiner, Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer, Tony Hendra

THIS ISLAND EARTH
1955
*
Aliens arrive on Earth looking for scientists to help them in their war.
Moderately intriguing sci-fi mystery diminished by a highly artificial air and lack of pace.
Dir: Joseph M Newman
Stars: Jeff Morrow, Faith Domergue, Rex Reason

THIS SPORTING LIFE
1963
*
A rugby league player is unable to control his anger away from the game.
Surly drama, rather too grim to be widely liked.
Dir: Lindsay Anderson
Stars: Richard Harris, Rachel Roberts, Alan Badel, William Hartnell, Colin Blakely, Arthur Lowe, George Sewell, Leonard Rossiter

THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER
1969
0
Three stories concerning a sex symbol, attempted suicide and wild hallucinations.
Dismal, bizarre, totally unfunny sex comedy that was its director’s first effort - it certainly looks like he had never used a film camera before.
Dir: Derek Ford
Stars: Victor Spinetti, Vanessa Howard, Dennis Waterman, John Bird, Valerie Leon

THOR
2011
*
The god of thunder comes to Earth to learn some humility.
Thor never was a particularly interesting or likeable superhero and this production doesn’t do much to make him any more empathetic, or a big-time player, but it’s not a bad movie, although the pacing is not quite right and locations a little odd.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins

THOR THE CONQUEROR
1982
0
Thor goes on a conquest to avenge his dead father.
The worst sword and sorcery picture you could possibly imagine.
Dir: Tonino Ricci
Stars: Conrad Nichols, Maria Romano, Malisa Lang

THOSE WERE THE DAYS
1934
*
A magistrate visits a music hall against the wishes of his father.
The great Will Hay's first film vehicle is essentially a record of the music hall - which was in decline when this came out - and is therefore largely of historical interest.
Dir: Thomas Bentley
Stars: Will Hay, Iris Hoey, John Mills

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS
1944
0
Aladdin uses a genie to help him win a princess' hand.
Dull Arabian Nights comedy.
Dir: Alfred E Green
Stars: Cornel Wilde, Evelyn Keyes, Phil Silvers, Adele Jergens

1,000 CONVICTS AND A WOMAN
1971
*
The sexually promiscuous daughter of a prison governor causes chaos at his establishment.
Inviting exploitation sub-matter, quite fun until it gets a bit exhausted later on.
Dir: Ray Austin
Stars: Alexandra Hay, Sandor Eles, Harry Baird, Neil Hallet

THREE
2006
0
After their boat is wrecked, two angry men and a desirable woman end up on island.
Lousy continuity is the least of this thriller's worries, with absurdities too many to list - although you could start with the waterproof cigarettes and the lack of sunburn - and characters that do not behave in any sort of believable manner. Still, the sea's a nice shade of blue and Miss Brook is exceptionally easy on the eye.
Dir: Stewart Raffill
Stars: Billy Zane, Kelly Brook, Juan Pablo Di Pace

THREE AMIGOS
1987
0
Three actors head to a Mexican village to perform as bandits, unaware that it is the real thing.
Forced, childish comedy revelling in old jokes.
Dir: John Landis
Stars: Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Martin Short

THREE CASES OF MURDER
1954
*
Three stories of expiration: In The Picture, You Killed Elizabeth and Lord Mountdrago.
Likeable compendium; the first tale is imaginative and stylish if a little on the verbose side, the second is utter piffle but still quite fun, the third sees a richly enjoyable performance from Welles although the intrinsic logic of the story is at fault: in the House of Commons, a politician has a right to do down an opponent; it’s also unlikely that Mountdrago would be later perturbed by this Welsh pipsqueak. The sequences where Welles loses his trousers and sings to the House are a hoot.
Dir: David Eady, Wendy Toye, George More O'Ferrall
Stars: Orson Welles, John Gregson, Emrys Jones, Elizabeth Sellars, Andre Morell, Alan Badel, Eamonn Andrews

THREE COLOURS: BLUE
1993
**
A woman withdraws from life after the death of her husband and daughter.
Exquisitely shot in a manner that illustrates Binoche’s character’s relationship with the world, the first part of the Colours trilogy – which concerns liberty, equality and fraternity - is not nearly as bleak as it might have been and benefits from a flawless lead performance.
Dir: Krzysztof Kieslowski
Stars: Juliette Binoche, Benoit Regent, Florence Pernel

THREE COLOURS: RED
1994
*
A beautiful model runs over the dog of a retired judge who spies on his neighbours; they strike up a strange friendship.
The final part of Kieslowski's Colours trilogy had many critics in raptures, but despite its intellectual grounding it is not an especially engaging or enlightening film - the overall effect is muffled and as the plot features characters who pass like ships in the night you feel little for them, and by extension, little for the film itself.
Dir: Krzysztof Kieslowski
Stars: Irene Jacob, Jean-Louis Trintignant, Jean-Pierre Lorit

THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR
1974
*
A CIA researcher finds his co-workers dead and finds he can trust nobody.
Complex, confident thriller in the style of The 39 Steps.
Dir: Sydney Pollack
Stars: Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway, Cliff Robertson, Max von Sydow

THE THREE FACES OF EVE
1957
*
A doctor treats a woman suffering from multiple personality disorder.
Apparently based on a true story, this is a rather stiff psychiatric drama with few frills.
Dir: Nunnally Johnson
Stars: Joanne Woodward, David Wayne, Lee J Cobb

THREE MEN AND A BABY
1987
*
Three bachelors are forced to take care of an infant.
Young parents will be most likely to sympathise with this warm and humorous comedy that became a surprise hit.
Dir: Leonard Nimoy
Stars: Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, Nancy Travis

THE THREE MUSKETEERS
1973
**
A young swordsman comes to Paris to have adventures with his Musketeer pals.
The plot gets a bit lost but the action is splendid and the Musketeers likeable.
Dir: Richard Lester
Stars: Oliver Reed, Raquel Welch, Richard Chamberlain, Michael York, Frank Finlay, Christopher Lee, Faye Dunaway, Charlton Heston

3:10 TO YUMA
2007
**
A rancher in need of money agrees to help take an outlaw to a prison train.
Frequently implausible but solidly crafted western that invests heavily in the two main characters and sees it pay off; performances, too, are uniformly good.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Logan Lerman, Dallas Roberts, Ben Foster, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol

THE 3 WORLDS OF GULLIVER
1959
0
A man is washed up on an island where the inhabitants are tiny but war-like.
Spiritless children's version of Swift's book that irritates rather than pleases.
Dir: Jack Sher
Stars: Kerwin Mathews, Jo Morrow, June Thorburn

300
2007
*
Three hundred Spartan warriors take on the might of the Persian army.
A glorification of war based on a graphic novel - the action's the thing, and it does look awesome, but there are chewy bits in between, a grandiloquent narration and a total lack of empathy for any of the characters.
Dir: Zack Snyder
Stars: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West

THRONE OF BLOOD
1957
**
A samurai, spurred on by his wife and a witch, murders his lord.
Atmospheric Japanese take on Macbeth, complete with a spectacular, bloody finale.
Dir: Akira Kurosawa
Stars: Toshiro Mifune, Isuzu Yamada, Takashi Shimura

THUNDER ROCK
1942
**
A man living on his own in a lighthouse has visions of previous people who have visited the outpost.
Curious hymn to pacifism that evolves into a series of human interest stories; interesting rather than exciting.
Dir: Roy Boulting
Stars: Michael Redgrave, James Mason, Barbara Mullen, Lilli Palmer

THUNDERBALL
1965
**
James Bond searches for two nuclear bombs that have been stolen by SPECTRE.
Sometimes splendid, sometimes slow fourth in the series that tends to test the patience in its long underwater scenes - it's hard to tell who's doing what to whom.
Dir: Terence Young
Stars: Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi, Guy Doleman, Bernard Lee, Desmond Llewelyn, Lois Maxwell

THUNDERBIRD 6
1968
*
The airship that Lady Penelope is touring the world in is hijacked.
Extremely mild, not unpleasant sci-fi puppetry with diligent model work and music scoring.
Dir: David Lane
Voices: Keith Alexander, Sylvia Anderson, Shane Rimmer, Geoffrey Keen

THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!
1966
*
International Rescue assist Zero-X, a spacecraft that has been sabotaged.
Padded out version of Gerry Anderson’s most popular TV series; the special effects are decent and the puppets are amusing but the scope for excitement is, frankly, limited.
Dir: David Lane
Voices: Sylvia Anderson, Ray Barrett, Bob Monkhouse, Shane Rimmer

THUNDERING FLEAS
1926
0
A group of kids cause havoc at a wedding with some fleas.
Primitive short, an Our Gang subject, which uses occasional animation for its fleas. Strictly of historical interest only.
Dir: Robert F McGowan
Stars: Oliver Hardy, Charley Chase, Jackie Condon, Mickey Daniels

THX1138
1970
*
In the 25th century, a man and a woman rebel against their strict masters.
Unfriendly sci-fi, the antithesis of Star Wars, that drags the viewer into its dystopian gloom.
Dir: George Lucas
Stars: Robert Duvall, Donald Pleasence, Don Pedro Colley

TIDAL WAVE
1975
0
The race is on to stop Japan from sinking into the sea.
Essentially a re-edit of the Japanese epic The Submersion Of Japan with added American scenes that are not as conspicuous as might have been. The end result is better than the average ’70s disaster movie, but it still is a ’70s disaster movie...
Dir: Shiro Moritani/Andrew Meyer
Stars: Lorne Greene, Rhonda Leigh Hopkins/Keiju Kobayashi, Hiroshi Fujioka

TIE ME UP! TIE ME DOWN!
1990
*
A man pleads with a porn star to become his wife.
Steamy melodrama that basks in the dark side of human nature.
Dir: Pedro Almodovar
Stars: Victoria Abril, Antonio Banderas, Loles Leon

TIFFANY JONES
1973
0
A glamorous fashion model gets tangled in foreign espionage.
The tone is set early on for this child-like version of a sexy cartoon strip (that resembled Daily Mirror stalwart Jane), as it misfires on all cylinders, especially with the three comical cooks.
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Anouska Hempel, Ray Brooks, Eric Pohlmann, Lynda Baron

TIGHTROPE
1985
*
A cop's daughters are targeted by a serial rapist.
Watchable thriller on familiar lines.
Dir: Richard Tuggle
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Genevieve Bujold, Dan Hedaya, Alison Eastwood

TILL DEATH US DO PART
1969
*
East End bigot Alf Garnett and family survive the London blitz.
Episodic, stretched out version of the seminal TV comedy; vintage moments but a little slow.
Dir: Norman Cohen
Stars: Warren Mitchell, Dandy Nichols, Una Stubbs, Anthony Booth, Bill Maynard, Brian Blessed

TIME AFTER TIME
1979
**
H G Wells pursues Jack the Ripper to the 20th century in his time machine.
Audacious and enjoyable sci-fi cleverly utilising the concept of time paradoxes.
Dir: Nicholas Meyer
Stars: Malcolm McDowell, David Warner, Mary Steenburgen, Charles Cioffi

TIME BANDITS
1981
*
A young boy joins a group of dwarves who jump from one time period to another to steal treasure.
Imaginative fantasy which lasts too long but has some select comedic high spots.
Dir: Terry Gilliam
Stars: David Rappaport, Kenny Baker, John Cleese, Sean Connery, Shelley Duvall, Ian Holm, Michael Palin, Ralph Richardson, Peter Vaughan, David Warner

TIME FLIES
1944
0
A music hall star heads back in time to the days of Queen Elizabeth I.
Sadly dated farce which probably cheered up war-torn Blighty.
Dir: Walter Forde
Stars: Tommy Handley, Evelyn Dall, Felix Aylmer, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffatt

TIME GAMES
1985
0
A girl travel backs to 19th century Australia thanks to a strange antique lace collar.
Nice looking but soppy fantasy made in the wake of Back To The Future.
Dir: Donald Crombie
Stars: Imogen Annesley, Peter Phelps, Mouche Phillips

TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE
1952
0
The Prime Minister is due to visit a 'perfect' village, but residents are determined to hide a dirty tramp who blights it.
Flat and unsympathetic comedy that feels false.
Dir: Lewis Gilbert
Stars: Eddie Byrne, Hermione Baddeley, Dora Bryan, Thora Hird, Sid James, Edie Martin

TIME LOCK
1957
**
A boy is accidentally locked in a vault and the race is on to get him out before his oxygen runs out.
Tight, neat suspenser with little flab and factual, no-nonsense dialogue. Most likeable but a truly great director might have created a mini masterpiece.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Robert Beatty, Lee Patterson, Betty McDowall

THE TIME MACHINE
1960
**
A Victorian gentleman travels far into the future to discover a planet at war.
H G Wells goes to Hollywood; miscast but rather splendid fantasy that takes the viewer on an entertaining ride.
Dir: George Pal
Stars: Rod Taylor, Alan Young, Yvette Mimieux, Sebastian Cabot

TIME MASTERS
1982
0
A small boy is the only survivor of an attack by giant hornets.
Tedious, barely coherent cartoon with no sense of fun.
Dir: Rene Laloux
Voices: Jean Valmont, Michel Elias, Frederic Legros

THE TIME TRAVELERS
1964
*
A group of scientists travel 107 years into the future… and regret it.
Low budget sci-fi with a good reputation, but apart from its unexpected climax, there’s nothing too remarkable for the modern viewer.
Dir: Ib Melchior
Stars: Preston Foster, Philip Carey, Merry Anders

TIME TRAVELERS
1976 (TV)
0
Scientists head back to 1871 Chicago to find a cure for a deadly disease.
Trifling fantasy that sees Irwin Allen try to resurrect his Time Tunnel scenario, only on what looks like an even more modest budget. The idea may be quite neat but too much dull chat and that puny budget mean it struggles to get out of the starting blocks.
Dir: Alexander Singer
Stars: Sam Groom, Tom Hallick, Richard Basehart, Francine York

THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE
2009
*
A man has a genetic disease which causes him to suddenly travel through time.
Decent adaptation of an absurd but interesting and very successful book that wisely makes its central characters a good deal more likeable than they are on the page but still doesn’t move very far from their personal anguishes. Predictably aimed more at the female crowd than the sci-fi crowd, it’s an earnest film that tantalises and teases but doesn’t quite deliver a knockout punch.
Dir: Robert Schwentke
Stars: Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams

TIME TRAVELLER: THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME
2010
0
A schoolgirl whose scientist mother has been seriously hurt in an accident takes a potion that allows her to travel back in time.
The 2006 anime of a similar name had the heroine jumping around different time zones – this just sees the girl head back to 1974 and stay there. It doesn’t get especially interesting until near the end when the other time traveller shows up, and the love story that unfolds is barely affecting, making you rile against elements like the sentimental music score.
Dir: Masaaki Taniguchi
Stars: Riisa Naka, Akinobu Nakao, Narumi Yasuda

TIME WALKER
1982
0
An alien that has been buried in a tomb returns to life to terrorise students.
Unsurprising sci-fi horror which looks a bit like a TV movie.
Dir: Tom Kennedy
Stars: Ben Murphy, Michelle Avonne, Nina Axelrod

TIMECOP
1994
*
When a scientist ‘invents’ time travel a special band of cops are introduced to ensure there are no abuses of it.
A Lidl version of Terminator that starts especially well but then becomes little more than a vehicle for Van Damme to beat people up. The plot makes truly no sense, and there may have been wiser places to set the climax than a big house on a dark and rainy night, but this is acceptable escapist fantasy fun.
Dir: Peter Hyams
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Mia Sara, Ron Silver, Bruce McGill

TIMER
2009
0
In a world where most adults wear timers on their wrists to tell them when their true love will come along, one woman finds that hers is still stuck at zero.
A high-concept drama in low-fi dress, a sort of indie Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind that’s sadly never quite as good as you hope: very much a film more suited to a female audience, it’s hellishly overlong considering how slight it is and, although the interesting (if unlikely) concept lends itself to intriguing drama, there doesn't appear to be the talent or ambition to truly make it sing.
Dir: Jac Schaeffer
Stars: Emma Caulfield, Michelle Borth, John Patrick Amedori, Desmond Harrington

THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK
1984
***
Documentary looking at the life and assassination of gay politician Harvey Milk.
Oscar-winning doc that successfully presents Milk as an important player in the struggle for human rights and the advancement of civilisation, even in death. That it’s structured almost like a thriller doesn’t cheapen its message.
Dir: Rob Epstein
Narrator: Harvey Fierstein

TIMESLIP
1955
0
After he is shot, a scientist lives life 7.5 seconds in the future.
That synopsis is a mischievous one (and the one usually given by film guides), but this tantalising idea is only used as a very small part of this minor thriller, during hospital bed conversations which resemble a Two Ronnies sketch. Other than that it’s a rather dull effort which now seems to only exist in a dim and scratchy version.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Gene Nelson, Faith Domergue, Peter Arne, Joseph Tomelty, Charles Hawtrey

TIMESTALKERS
1986 (TV)
0
A history professor gets involved with time travellers from the far future.
Back To The Future type stuff which never reaches great heights of excitement.
Dir: Michael Schultz
Stars: William Devane, Lauren Hutton, John Ratzenberger, Klaus Kinski

THE TIN DRUM
1979
*
A young boy refuses to grow up when he sees the horror of the world around him.
Well made but heavy going fable that both unsettles and amuses thanks to its morbid sense of humour.
Dir: Volker Schlondorff
Stars: Mario Adorf, Angela Winkler, David Bennent

TINA: WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT
1993
**
The life of singer Tina Turner, who suffered abuse at the hands of her hubby, Ike.
Dark and compelling biopic which pulls no punches in its portrayal of Ike.
Dir: Brian Gibson
Stars: Angela Bassett, Laurence Fishburne, Khandi Alexander

THE TINGLER
1959
*
A pathologist discovers a creature that lives in people's vertebrae.
Enjoyably absurd gimmicky horror in Castle's best manner.
Dir: William Castle
Stars: Vincent Price, Judith Evelyn, Darryl Hickman

TINTORERA
1978
0
A large shark terrorises the Mexican coast.
Bad beyond belief soap opera/horror with less dramatic tension than an episode of Postman Pat. One of those films that makes you exclaim, 'This is the worst film I've ever seen!'
Dir: Rene Cardona Jr
Stars: Susan George, Fiona Lewis, Hugo Stiglitz

THE TIT AND THE MOON
1995
*
A young boy longs to drink his mother's milk once again.
Irritating, self-consciously quirky fantasy using that type of child's narration all too frequently heard in foreign films.
Dir: Bigas Luna
Stars: Mathilda May, Biel Duran, Gerard Darmon

TIT FOR TAT
1935
*
Stan and Ollie open an electrical repair shop but unfortunately it is next to a grocery store run by one of their old enemies.
A chronicle of mass destruction with a slightly sour, sad taste.
Dir: Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall, Mae Busch

TITANIC
1997
**
On board the doomed passenger liner in 1912, an unhappy, headstrong woman in first class falls in love with a young American in third class.
Hollywood at its most Hollywood-like, a remarkably planned, incredibly detailed and sumptuously set extravaganza that presents a tragic love story alongside sequences of super-expensive and spectacular destruction, and at gargantuan length. Despite the odd lapse in narrative and historical accuracy it holds the interest and is a testament to the director's unswerving passion in his ambitious project.
Dir: James Cameron
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates, Gloria Stuart, Bill Paxton, Bernard Hill, David Warner

THE TITFIELD THUNDERBOLT
1952
****
Villagers attempt to keep their branch line train service running despite competition from the local bus service.
Like a on the move postcard of '50s rural Britain, this very special comedy could not be more English, presenting as it does the derring-do and decency of its people against a backdrop of luscious countryside, flagons of ale and village cricket; also delightful in its romanticisation of steam railways.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Stanley Holloway, George Relph, John Gregson, Godfrey Tearle, Edie Martin, Naunton Wayne, Hugh Griffith, Sid James

TITUS
1999
*
A Roman soldier returns from war to set a series of terrible events in motion.
Visually engulfing adaptation of Shakespeare's 'horror play', full of spectacle, sound and fury. Mighty long, too.
Dir: Julie Taymor
Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Jessica Lange, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Matthew Rhys

TO BE OR NOT TO BE
1942
***
In occupied Poland, a group of actors attempt to foil the Nazis.
The outrageous concept of this comic thriller is sure to prove surprising to delicate modern viewers, and the farcical, twisting plot is likely to delight also.
Dir: Ernst Lubitsch
Stars: Carole Lombard, Jack Benny, Robert Stack, Lionel Atwill

TO CATCH A THIEF
1955
*
An apparently retired cat burglar living on the French Riviera is suspected when there is an outbreak of jewel thefts.
Hitchcock and co go on holiday and serve up this luscious looking if dramatically languorous thriller that is not among his most penetrating works. It’s a shame that such a classy film is so dull.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, Jessie Royce Landis, John Williams

TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT
1945
**
An American boat captain in Martinique gets involved with Nazis.
In many ways a fairly ordinary war thriller, but one’s that lifted considerably by its famous first pairing of Bogart and Bacall and the shards of dialogue they deliver.
Dir: Howard Hawks
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Walter Brennan, Hoggy Carmichael

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD
1962
**
In the Depression-era South, a lawyer defends a black man on a rape charge.
Probably as good a film as could be made of the socially conscious Pulitzer Prize winning book, it is undoubtedly moving but eventually goes on for too long.
Dir: Robert Mulligan
Stars: Gregory Peck, Mary Badham, John Megna, Frank Overton, Robert Duvall

TO OUR LOVES
1983
*
A teenager leads a promiscuous lifestyle.
Noisy, often ponderous drama that’s typically French.
Dir: Maurice Pialat
Stars: Sandrine Bonnaire, Evelyne Ker, Dominique Besnehard

TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER
1976
0
A novelist battles to save the soul of a young girl from Satanists.
Largely soporific horror that comes to a shuddering halt.
Dir: Peter Sykes
Stars: Richard Widmark, Christopher Lee, Honor Blackman, Nastassja Kinski, Denholm Elliott

TO TRAP A SPY
1966
*
The Men from UNCLE attempt to stop an African leader being assassinated.
The first of the UNCLE ‘movies’ (ie extended television episodes), a series that added little to the development of the cinematic form but gave someone fun, somewhere.
Dir: Don Medford
Stars: Robert Vaughn, David McCallum, Luciana Paluzzi

TOKYO STORY
1953
**
An elderly couple visit their children in the city.
High-brow critics fall over themselves to heap adulation on this Japanese film, and it would be easy to take the opposing view and point out that almost nothing happens in it and what does is pretty dull; but there is much to appreciate, from the distinctive, stubbornly non-mobile camerawork to the little behavioural nuances that hint at much more. In summary, a peaceful, tranquil film that is at least totally different from the majority of Hollywood products.
Dir: Yasujiro Ozu
Stars: Chishu Ryu, Chieko Higashiyama, Setsuko Hara

TOM JONES
1963
**
In 18th-century England, a squire's son has a series of adventures.
Despite the director's modern, jokey approach this famous film is a rather tortuous wander through Fielding's material, neither as bawdy or rollicking as one is led to expect. There are some nicely executed interludes – like the deer hunt and the well-known gorging scene - but it’s hard to feel much for our titular hero, and his escapades seem to drag on for a considerable time.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Albert Finney, Susannah York, Hugh Griffith, Edith Evans, Joan Greenwood

TOM THUMB
1958
*
A woodcutter has his wishes granted by the queen of the forest.
A happy little film with energetic singing and dancing and decent trick effects.
Dir: George Pal
Stars: Russ Tamblyn, Terry-Thomas, Peter Sellers, Bernard Miles, Peter Butterworth

THE TOMB OF LIGEIA
1965
*
A nobleman believes that his new bride is possessed by the evil spirit of his dead wife.
Corman's last Poe adaptation is a bit too restrained and elegant for its own good, but Price is as good value as ever.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vincent Price, Elizabeth Shepherd, John Westbrook, Richard Vernon

TOMMY
1975
**
A deaf, dumb and blind kid is roundly abused but his talent for pinball turns him into a modern-day messiah.
The Who’s dippy but beguiling rock opera is given the full, double-barrelled Ken Russell treatment and the result is an ostentatious and sometimes powerful fantasy that’s difficult to ignore. The cracking tunes help.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Roger Daltrey, Oliver Reed, Ann-Margret, Elton John, Keith Moon, Jack Nicholson, Robert Powell, Tina Turner

TOMMY BOY
1995
0
A dimwitted man inherits a factory.
Awful all-American comedy which pairs unoriginal slapstick with a weirdly incoherent, business-obsessed plot.
Dir: Peter Segal
Stars: Chris Farley, Brian Dennehy, Bo Derek, Dan Aykroyd

TOMORROW AT TEN
1962
**
A kidnapper takes a boy and locks him in a room with a golliwog that has a bomb in it.
Neat, well controlled little thriller that benefits from two meaty lead performances and an absence of female characters. The police’s calmness is a little incredulous at times, and there might have been a few more shots of the clock, but the gently twisting tale and period asides make it a nice film to spend time with.
Dir: Lance Comfort
Stars: John Gregson, Robert Shaw, Alec Clunes, Kenneth Cope, William Hartnell

TOMORROW NEVER DIES
1997
*
James Bond tackles a media mastermind intent on starting World War 3.
There's really very little original in this umpteenth Bond flick, but a light touch ensures it's not a painful experience.
Dir: Roger Spottiswoode
Stars: Pierce Brosnan, Teri Hatcher, Jonathan Pryce, Michelle Yeoh, Joe Don Baker, Judi Dench, Desmond Llewelyn, Geoffrey Palmer

TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE
1989
0
Someone is murdering fashion models.
Glossy whodunit of little substance or originality.
Dir: Dario Piana
Stars: Francois-Eric Gendron, Florence Guerin, Giovanni Tamberi

TOO MANY CROOKS
1958
*
An accident-prone gang of criminals kidnap a businessman's wife.
Nice and neat comedy which moves briskly and has a great cast.
Dir: Mario Zampi
Stars: Terry-Thomas, George Cole, Bernard Bresslaw, Sid James, Vera Day, John Le Mesurier, Edie Martin

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM
1985
0
A killer stalks women in a high rise apartment building.
Psycho-ish shocker which passes the time, hiding the killer pretty well.
Dir: Tony Lo Bianco
Stars: Mike Connors, Anne Archer, Ian McShane, John Heard, Maureen O'Sullivan

THE TOOLBOX MURDERS
1978
0
Women are murdered by a religious maniac with a big toolbox.
Skill-less horror which starts in deliciously trashy fashion – three brutal murders, including a beautiful naked redhead killed by a nail gun after a bath and a brief chase – but is then unable to mask its huge deficiencies, boring the audience to death with endless scenes of terrible dialogue and shots that are held for far too long. Watch out for the hilariously contaminated crime scenes, too.
Dir: Dennis Donnelly
Stars: Cameron Mitchell, Pamelyn Ferdin, Wesley Eure

TOOTSIE
1983
***
An out-of-work actor is forced to dress as a woman to get work.
One of the films of its year, a funny and sharply scripted comedy full of memorable performances; one in particular.
Dir: Sydney Pollack
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Bill Murray, Sydney Pollack, Geena Davis

TOP GUN
1986
*
A student at a flying school romances his teacher.
Glossy, shallow drama for boys who like their planes, even if they’re not involved in anything particularly significant.
Dir: Tony Scott
Stars: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside

TOP HAT
1935
****
Numerous obstacles stand in the way of a couple falling in love.
Glorious Fred and Ginger musical featuring top drawer song and dance numbers plus delightfully handled plot complications. Everything about it smacks of expertise.
Dir: Mark Sandrich
Stars: Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Edward Everett Horton, Erik Rhodes

TOP SECRET!
1984
**
An American rock and roll singer gets involved with a resistance plot to rescue an imprisoned East German scientist.
High spirited, good natured, frequently hilarious Airplane-type spoof with too many targets to mention.
Dir: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker
Stars: Val Kilmer, Lucy Gutteridge, Michael Gough, Peter Cushing, Jeremy Kemp, Warren Clarke

TOPAZ
1969
*
A French agent gets embroiled in Cold War politics.
Mostly leaden Hitchcock suspenser with too many characters and too much plot; one of his most disappointing pictures.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: John Forsythe, Frederick Stafford, John Vernon

TOPKAPI
1964
*
Crooks carry out a meticulous plan to steal a precious dagger from a Turkish museum.
Influential, watchable caper which culminates in an engrossing robbery after some dawdling earlier on; a surfeit of local noise and colour adds a good deal of flavour.
Dir: Jules Dassin
Stars: Melina Mercouri, Peter Ustinov, Maximilian Schell, Robert Morley, Jess Hahn

TOPPER
1937
*
A couple don't let death get in the way of them having a good time.
Much imitated fantasy comedy that almost, but not quite, makes mortality amusing.
Dir: Norman Z McLeod
Stars: Cary Grant, Constance Bennett, Roland Young, Billie Burke

TOPPER
1979 (TV)
0
Styleless remake bogged down by the old clichés.
Dir: Charles S Dubin
Stars: Jack Warden, Kate Jackson, Andrew Stevens

TOPPER RETURNS
1941
**
Topper helps the ghost of a woman track down her killer.
Dated but lively comedy for those who can take death lightly.
Dir: Roy Del Ruth
Stars: Joan Blondell, Roland Young, Carole Landis, Billie Burke

TOPPER TAKES A TRIP
1939
0
Mrs Topper seeks to divorce her husband because of his tomfoolery with ghosts.
Weakest of the Topper trilogy with entirely run-of-the-mill antics.
Dir: Norman Z McLeod
Stars: Roland Young, Constance Bennett, Billie Burke

TORMENTED
2009
0
A bullied schoolboy commits suicide but comes back from the dead to slay his persecutors.
Yet another example of how horrible popular culture for young Britons has become, this shallow horror film feigns to condemn bullying but instead condones it as it revels in the unpleasant behaviour of the vile youths who almost exclusively people it. It’s tricky to decide what’s more depressing: the amorality of the filmmakers or the fact that it received just a 15 certificate.
Dir: Jon Wright
Stars: Tuppence Middleton, Alex Pettyfer, April Pearson

TORN CURTAIN
1966
**
An American scientist defects to East Germany, but actually has other motives.
Latter-day Hitch which only sporadically shows the master at his best; two such scenes are the protracted killing in the kitchen and the escape on the bus.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Paul Newman, Julie Andrews, Wolfgang Kieling, Lila Kedrova

TORSO
1973
0
A hooded killer preys on hapless females.
If ever in need of a manual on how not to make a suspense thriller have a watch of this crass and boring effort with fake gore and bad acting. There’s certainly no other reason to watch it.
Dir: Sergio Martino
Stars: Suzy Kendall, Tina Aumont, Luc Merenda

TORTURE GARDEN
1967
*
Dr Diablo tells four people at a fairground terrible tales of their future.
Rather artificial-seeming Amicus anthology in which the stories range from very poor to good; the fairground provides a nice, lurid wraparound setting.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Burgess Meredith, Jack Palance, Peter Cushing, Michael Bryant, Maurice Denham

TOTAL RECALL
1990
***
In 2084, people can have memories implanted in their heads. A construction worker undergoes the process but it leads to a terrifying battle against an evil corporation.
Powerful, eventful sci-fi thriller that disguises its intelligence with tremendous action and violence - perhaps because the star was clearly more suited to the latter.
Dir: Paul Verhoeven
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone, Ronny Cox, Michael Ironside

TOUCH OF EVIL
1958
**
A couple honeymooning in an American border town become embroiled in a political frame-up.
Complicated and unsympathetic thriller redeemed by splendid, moody cinematography.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Charlton Heston, Janet Leigh, Orson Welles, Joseph Calleia

A TOUCH OF LOVE
1968
0
A single girl becomes pregnant and is faced with difficult life choices.
Dreary drama with a drip of a star; Amicus should have stuck to horror films.
Dir: Waris Hussein
Stars: Sandy Dennis, Ian McKellen, Eleanor Bron, John Standing

TOUCHING THE VOID
2002
**
Documentary focusing on two climbers' attempts to surmount a treacherous mountain.
Stirring tale of despair and heroism, strikingly shot.
Dir: Kevin Macdonald
Stars: Joe Simpson, Simon Yates

TOWED IN A HOLE
1932
***
Stan and Ollie run into difficulties doing up the boat they have bought to help them with their fish business.
Wonderful star comedy demonstrating their ability to perform something beyond slapstick and their knack with sparing but lunatic dialogue, including Stan's inability to repeat an idea.
Dir: George Marshall
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert

TOWER OF EVIL
1972
0
Teenagers on a remote island off the coast are stalked by a monster.
Standard shocker with plenty of crowd-pleasing gore and nudity, it plays like a precursor to the next decade’s stalk and slash movies.
Dir: Jim O'Connolly
Stars: Bryant Haliday, Jill Haworth, Robin Askwith, Candace Glendenning, George Coulouris, Anna Palk

TOWER OF LONDON
1939
*
Richard Duke of Gloucester kills those standing between him and the throne.
Historical melodrama with horror overtones, mainly notable for juicy turns from Rathbone, Karloff and Price, those three old masters. One wishes there was more of them and less ‘proper’ history – the movie seems a little stuck between two stools, the horror and historical, and doesn’t have the lavish budget to effectively furnish the latter. Still, painless enough, with some fun scenes.
Dir: Rowland V Lee
Stars: Basil Rathbone, Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Barbara O’Neil, Ian Hunter

TOWER OF LONDON
1962
0
Richard III is haunted by the ghosts of those he murdered in order to claim the throne.
A bit of Macbeth is thrown in but that's where the Shakespeare connections end in this flattish cheapie with American accents. Olivier was creepier.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vincent Price, Michael Pate, Joan Freeman

THE TOWERING INFERNO
1974
**
The opening night of a poorly constructed office block soon descends into chaos.
The granddaddy disaster movie and pretty much the start of a cycle that would last for the next decade. Here all the elements, including spectacular special effects and a roster of stars, are in place and provide the reason for watching.
Dir: Irwin Allen, John Guillermin
Stars: Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, William Holden, Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire, Susan Blakely, Richard Chamberlain, Robert Vaughn, Robert Wagner, O J Simpson

THE TOXIC AVENGER
1985
*
A nerd is turned into a bulky superhero after being exposed to chemical waste.
Loosely structured low budget horror spoof which celebrates the ugly side of life.
Dir: Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Mitch Cohen, Andree Maranda, Cindy Manion

THE TOXIC AVENGER PART II
1989
*
The Toxic Avenger fights crime in Japan.
Slightly less nasty and more humorous sequel with dollops of outrageous violence that one can only laugh at.
Dir: Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Ron Fazio, John Altamura, Rick Collins

THE TOXIC AVENGER PART III
1989
0
Toxie goes to work for an evil corporation.
Unspeakably awful rubbish, as artless as an art gallery with no pictures in it. Keep an eye out for the hopeless extras in the numerous crowd scenes.
Dir: Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Ron Fazio, John Altamura, Rick Collins

TOY STORY
1995
***
A cowboy toy feels threatened when a fancy spaceman toy arrives in a boy's bedroom.
Marvellous freewheeling cartoon feature, a great leap forward in computer animation techniques, immense fun for all but the most miserable misanthropes.
Dir: John Lasseter
Voices: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles, R Lee Ermey

TOY STORY 2
1999
***
When Woody is stolen by a toy collector, Buzz and pals set out to rescue him.
Sequel as beautifully made as the first, a slice of intelligent, pure cinema that gives even the most minor characters a life of their own.
Dir: John Lasseter
Voices: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Don Rickles

TOY STORY 3
2010
***
The toys fear they are destined for the attic when their owner, Andy, prepares to go to college.
A film that’s genuinely for all ages with its mix of comedy, thrills and sentiment: the theme of the loss of childhood has rarely been better handled.
Dir: Lee Unkrich
Voices: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton

TRACK 29
1987
*
A doctor's wife grows bored with her model-train obsessed husband.
As you'd expect of a combination between director Roeg and writer Dennis Potter, a mighty strange and off-key concoction, one that doesn't provide much surface entertainment but gives the mind much to mull over.
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
Stars: Theresa Russell, Gary Oldman, Christopher Lloyd, Colleen Camp

TRADER HORNEE
1970
0
A detective journeys to Africa to find a legendary white gorilla.
Sexy spoof which doesn't satisfy as a comedy or a naughty movie.
Dir: Jonathan Lucas
Stars: Buddy Pantsari, Elisabeth Monica, John Alderman

TRADING PLACES
1983
**
An inventor and a con artist swap places thanks to a bet by two millionaires.
Witty, well written comedy with a great cast.
Dir: John Landis
Stars: Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche, Denholm Elliott, Jamie Lee Curtis

TRAFFIC
1970
*
Monsieur Hulot drives a car from Paris to Amsterdam.
Star vehicle (no pun intended) that spreads the gags thinly and intermittently, resulting in easy, laidback viewing, at least for those who are Tati fans.
Dir: Jacques Tati
Stars: Jacques Tati

TRAIL OF THE PINK PANTHER
1982
0
Former acquaintances of Inspector Clouseau reminisce when the famous detective goes missing.
An attempt to prolong the Pink Panther series two years after Sellers’ death: the first half uses footage not considered good enough for the originals, the second compiles moments from those films. Overall a bit of a tasteless mess, with the end credits providing the funniest bits.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: David Niven, Herbert Lom, Joanna Lumley, Burt Kwouk, Leonard Rossiter, Graham Stark, Ronald Fraser, Peter Sellers

TRAIN OF EVENTS
1949
*
Four stories linked by a train crash: The Engine Driver, The Composer, The Actor and The Prisoner-of-war.
On a dramatic level, fairly rudimentary stuff, but with valued period footage of London and the train network.
Dir: Sidney Cole, Cahrles Crichton, Basil Dearden
Stars: Jack Warner, Leslie Phillips, Peter Finch, Laurence Naismith, Michael Horden

TRAINSPOTTING
1996
****
A Scottish junkie attempts to find a better life.
Bristling, electric adaptation of a distressingly brilliant novel, this instant classic brought vim and credibility to the British film industry at the time it needed it most.
Dir: Danny Boyle
Stars: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Kelly Macdonald

TRANCERS
1985
*
In the LA of the future, a cop chases a criminal who is turning people into zombies.
Lively sci-fi in the manner of The Terminator.
Dir: Charles Band
Stars: Tim Thomerson, Helen Hunt, Michael Stefani

TRANSFORMERS
2007
*
Huge robots that can turn into everyday machines wage war on Earth.
Charmless and unattractive actioner that offers little more than fast-cutting sound and fury and unsubtle humour; the cinematic equivalent of junk food.
Dir: Michael Bay
Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight

TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000
1985
0
Two reporters encounter monsters in a strange castle in Transylvania.
Wacky spoof of a much spoofed genre, it provides smiles rather than guffaws.
Dir: Rudy De Luca
Stars: Jeff Goldblum, Joseph Bologna, Ed Begley Jr, Geena Davis

TRAPEZE
1956
*
A trapeze artist is taught the ropes by a former master.
Atmospheric but dry drama shot in strong colour.
Dir: Carol Reed
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis, Gina Lollobrigida, Sidney James

TRAPPED ASHES
2006
0
Four gruesome stories are told in a theme park that houses the set of an old horror film: The Girl With Golden Breasts, Jibaku, Stanley’s Girlfriend and My Twin, The Worm.
Fairly disastrous anthology with a weird mix of directors and a weird mix of sex and horror that won’t appeal to anyone. The set-up makes you think it’s going to be a fun shocker in the Amicus mould but instead it resembles a TV movie obsessed with gynaecology: segment one is probably the most entertaining, the second is a bizarre failure, the third much too straight and the fourth does little with a pleasingly twisted idea – a woman is pregnant with both a child and a tapeworm.
Dir: Joe Dante, Ken Russell, Sean S Cunningham, Monte Hellman, John Gaeta
Stars: Rachel Veltri, Dick Miller, John Saxon, Lara Harris

TRAUMA
2004
0
A man is haunted by visions of his dead wife and starts to go mad.
Another dismal dud from the British film industry: incoherent, downbeat, pretentious and laughable.
Dir: Marc Evans
Stars: Colin Firth, Naomie Harris, Mena Suvari

TREASURE ISLAND
1990 (TV)
*
An old pirate map leads to a long sea voyage and buried treasure.
Handsomely mounted adaptation of Stevenson's classic that carefully recreates the period although suffers from the odd longeur.
Dir: Fraser Clarke Heston
Stars: Charlton Heston, Christian Bale, Oliver Reed, Christopher Lee, Julian Glover

THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE
1948
**
Gold prospectors search the dangerous Mexican hills for treasure.
An esteemed picture which retains some power but is a little arid for much of its considerable length.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston, Tim Holt, Bruce Bennett

A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN
1945
***
A Brooklyn family at the beginning of the 20th century endure a harsh existence.
Vivid and detailed family drama that dwells on tragedy throughout but ends on an uplifting, hopeful note.
Dir: Elia Kazan
Stars: Dorothy McGuire, Joan Blondell, James Dunn, Lloyd Nolan

TREMORS
1990
**
Huge underground creatures terrorise a small town.
Entertaining monster movie which benefits from bright settings, quirky characters and a firm tongue in cheek.
Dir: Ron Underwood
Stars: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter

TRIAL BY COMBAT
1976
*
A group of aristocrats take justice into their own hands if they feel it hasn't been done.
Black comedy obviously inspired by TV's The Avengers, but rarely reaching the wonderfully bizarre heights that that series did.
Dir: Kevin Connor
Stars: John Mills, Donald Pleasence, Barbara Hershey, Peter Cushing, Brian Glover

THE TRIAL OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK
1989 (TV)
0
David Banner employs a blind lawyer, who is also Daredevil, when he is accused of a mob crime that the Kingpin has perpetrated.
Regrettably dull superhero shenanigans.
Dir: Bill Bixby
Stars: Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, Rex Smith, John Rhys-Davies

TRIAL RUN
1984
0
A female photographer working alone at a beach house is menaced by a stranger.
The New Zealand film industry demonstrating once again how to make a monotonous and irksome picture, one that mixes genres together to produce nothing but awfulness.
Dir: Melanie Read
Stars: Annie Whittle, Judith Gibson, Chris Broun

THE TRIALS OF OSCAR WILDE
1960
**
Oscar Wilde goes to court to fight a slander on his name, but lives to regret it.
Compelling and brave biopic, well made all round, brightened by a healthy amount of Wilde's epigrams.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Peter Finch, Yvonne Mitchell, James Mason, Nigel Patrick, Lionel Jeffries

TRIANGLE
2009
**
A troubled single mother goes on a sailing trip which runs into trouble.
Although this ‘Groundhog Day In Hell’ drama isn’t quite as clever as it thinks it is, it does manage to hold the attention as it twists merrily away, and it successfully swelled messageboards at IMDb. It's the director’s best film so far despite a conclusion that isn’t as satisfying as you’d like; but as soon as it finishes you stick the DVD back on to watch the opening minutes again, if not more of it.
Dir: Christopher Smith
Stars: Melissa George, Michael Dorman, Liam Hemsworth

TRICK OR TREAT
1987
0
A rock fan is sent messages from beyond the grave by his dead hero.
Junky horror comic with a superfluity of rock music; tedious and ridiculous.
Dir: Charles Martin Smith
Stars: Marc Price, Tony Fields, Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne

TRICK ‘R TREAT
2008
*
Interwoven horrific stories on Halloween night.
Unfocussed shocker that’s a sort of Creepshow-like anthology but goes for ‘clever’ intercutting of the tales whereas they might have worked better kept separate, although since the endings of each barely constitute a twist, perhaps not. All the familiar pats and beats of the modern horror film are here, and there’s an over-reliance on ‘is this real or just someone messing around on Halloween?’ shenanigans; it seems to get plenty of support on the internet as it’s an underdog, not having been awarded a theatrical release.
Dir: Michael Dougherty
Stars: Dylan Baker, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Tahmoh Penikett

TRILOGY OF TERROR
1975 (TV)
*
Three scary stories all starring Karen Black: Julie; Millicent And Therese; Amelia.
Fondly remembered but not great anthology; the first story is fairly intriguing, the second is a predictable slip of a tale, the third is a right laugh - lively, juicy horror.
Dir: Dan Curtis
Stars: Karen Black, Robert Burton, John Karlen

TRIO
1950
*
Three stories from the pen of Somerset Maugham: The Verger, Mr Know-all and Sanitorium.
The follow-up to Quartet (qv) is as enjoyable and cosy as its predecessor.
Dir: Ken Annakin, Harold French
Stars: Michael Horden, Nigel Patrick, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Jean Simmons, Michael Rennie, James Hayter, Naunton Wayne, Andre Morell

THE TRIP
1967
*
A man's life is changed when he discovers LSD.
Very much a film of its time, this much-banned odyssey is probably best watched when in an 'altered' state of mind. Otherwise, critical comment is pointless.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Peter Fonda, Susan Strasberg, Bruce Dern, Dennis Hopper

THE TRIUMPH OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
1935
*
Sherlock Holmes investigates the death of a police informant in a castle.
Creaky but clever Holmes yarn that's unusual in that the entire mid-section is in flashback and doesn't involve the detective. Wontner looks the part, displays plenty of enthusiasm and occasionally trips over his lines; it's a shame that his Holmes films have not been better preserved (and one is lost altogether).
Dir: Leslie S Hiscott
Stars: Arthur Wontner, Lyn Harding, Ian Fleming, Charles Mortimer

TRIUMPH OF THE WILL
1934
**
A film of the 1934 Nazi Party rally in Nuremberg.
The world's most famous example of filmmaking as powerful propaganda, this unique 'documentary' (it seems disingenuous to call it that when so much of it is staged) basks in stunningly shot images designed to inspire a sense of awe; viewing it 70 years later as anything other than a disturbing historical artefact it bores and is in need of a narrator, but as a testament to the only great female film director it still stands tall.
Dir: Leni Riefenstahl
Stars: Adolf Hitler

TROG
1970
0
A female scientist nurtures a creature that may be the missing link.
Nothing prepares you for this film's awfulness; its infamous reputation rests on the monster's suit, the meaningless plot, the dinosaur inserts and the unspeakable dialogue. Avoid.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Joan Crawford, Michael Gough, Bernard Kay, Thorley Walters

THE TROJAN WAR
1961
0
The story of events leading up to the building of the wooden horse.
Rotten mythological tale that's badly dubbed and reliant on scenes of fighting, which go on too long.
Dir: Giorgio Ferroni
Stars: Steve Reeves, John Drew Barrymore, Juliette Mayniel

THE TROLLENBERG TERROR
1958
*
A remote mountain resort in Switzerland is attacked by hideous eye-like creatures.
Pleasing low budget sci-fi with an eerie Alpine setting.
Dir: Quentin Lawrence
Stars: Forrest Tucker, Laurence Payne, Janet Munro, Warren Mitchell

TROMEO AND JULIET
1996
0
A punk version of Romeo And Juliet.
The usual Troma mess: brief moments of invention don't atone for the amateurish tedium.
Dir: Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Jane Jensen, Will Keenan, Valentine Miele

TRON
1982
*
A hacker is literally sucked into the world of computer games.
A tad long and complicated, but this is a highly original fantasy with breath-taking, innovative special effects.
Dir: Steven Lisberger
Stars: Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner, David Warner, Cindy Morgan

TROP BELLE POUR TOI
1989
*
A card dealer with a beautiful wife is somehow attracted to his plain secretary.
Typical French romantic comedy which brings some freshness to an old theme.
Dir: Bertrand Blier
Stars: Gerard Depardieu, Josiane Balasko, Carole Bouquet

TROUBLE BREWING
1939
*
George tracks down criminals dealing in counterfeit money.
The usual sweet-natured Formby knockabout antics.
Dir: Anthony Kimmins
Stars: George Formby, Googie Withers, Gus McNaughton

TROUBLE IN PARADISE
1932
*
A gentleman thief and a lady pickpocket join forces to con a beautiful perfume company owner.
Much praised but past its best light comedy, quite sprightly to be sure, but also hard to care about or get involved in.
Dir: Ernst Lubitsch
Stars: Herbert Marshall, Miriam Hopkins, Kay Francis, Charlie Ruggles, Edward Everett Horton, C Aubrey Smith

THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY
1955
**
The inhabitants of a small town find it tricky to get rid of a man's dead body.
One of Hitchcock's favourites of his own pictures, this is a curious black comedy, beautifully shot and scored, though a little static.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Edmund Gwenn, Mildred Natwick, John Forsythe, Shirley MacLaine

THE TRUE GLORY
1945
***
Documentary detailing the Allies' progress from D-day till the fall of Berlin.
Although perhaps superseded in future years by television documentaries, this is one of the most valuable accounts of the Second World War thanks to its numerous striking images, accounts of action by a wide variety of infantrymen (which sometimes sound a little grandiloquent) and the fact that it appeared so soon after the conflict. Remarkably fast cutting, it holds the eye and stirs the feelings.
Dir: Garson Kanin, Carol Reed
Narrator: Robert Harris

TRUE IDENTITY
1991
*
An African-American disguises himself as a white man in order to escape the mob.
Much of the plot is daft and contrived, but this comedy thriller is diverting enough, providing a juicy part for the British star.
Dir: Charles Lane
Stars: Lenny Henry, Frank Langella, Charles Lane, Michael McKean

TRUE ROMANCE
1993
**
Ruthless gangsters go on the trail of a couple of newlyweds who have stolen their cocaine.
Distinct, lilting thriller that gets better the longer it goes on. Scriptwriter Tarantino's marks are all over it like a rash.
Dir: Tony Scott
Stars: Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Val Kilmer, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Samuel L Jackson

THE TRUE STORY OF ESKIMO NELL
1975
0
Two cowboys search for a famous prostitute.
Fairly useless comic western, an overlong collection of mainly soporific scenes; the 1974 British film Eskimo Nell (qv) had much more fun with the original source material.
Dir: Richard Franklin
Stars: Max Gillies, Serge Lazareff, Abigail, Jerry Thomas

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY
1989
*
A woman's husband dies but soon returns to give her companionship.
Low key supernatural love story, all terribly English, some of it now appears mawkish and forced.
Dir: Anthony Minghella
Stars: Juliet Stevenson, Alan Rickman, Jenny Howe

THE TRUMAN SHOW
1998
****
An apparently ordinary man begins to realise he is actually the star of a television reality show that has a huge global audience.
Examined closely the scenario may not totally stand up, but this is Hollywood's greatest movie in many a year, a beautifully scripted, shot and scored fable that has appeal to both the masses and those with brains. Carrey's performance is amiable and understated and a perfect accompaniment to a genial and entertaining film which was prescient in its portrayal of the vampiric nature of reality television.
Dir: Peter Weir
Stars: Jim Carrey, Ed Harris, Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich, Natascha McElhone

TRUST THE MAN
2006
**
Two men fight to save their respective relationships.
Smart comedy drama which provides the audience with plenty of characters to empathise with.
Dir: Bart Freundlich
Stars: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ellen Barkin, Gary Shandling

THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE
2002
0
A widow meets a man who claims that he owes her a large amount of money.
Abysmal remake of Charade. How do films like this get made?
Dir: Jonathan Demme
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Thandie Newton, Tim Robbins

TSOTSI
2005
*
A street thug in South Africa is forced to take a tiny baby into his care.
A film that drags you out of your comfortable world into its own, and what an amoral, frightening world it is. On a dramatic level it starts with several jolts before the pace and violence begin to diminish.
Dir: Gavin Hood
Stars: Presley Chweneyagae, Terry Pheto, Kenneth Nkosi

TUBE TALES
1999 (TV)
0
Short stories set around the London Underground: Rosebud, Horny, My Father The Liar, Grasshopper, Mouth, Mr Cool, A Bird In The Hand, Steal Away and Bone.
Disappointing anthology: most of the tales are glum, humourless and dispiriting. Foul-mouthed and dreary, the film portrays Tube staff as fascist dictators and doesn't even bother to get the Underground's geography right.
Dir: Gaby Dellal et al
Stars: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Kelly Macdonald, Simon Pegg, Sean Pertwee, Liz Smith, Denise Van Outen, Rachel Weisz, Ray Winstone

TUMMY TROUBLE
1989
***
Roger Rabbit has to take Baby Herman to hospital after he swallows his rattle.
Brilliantly inventive short that’s as inspired as the cartoon that begins Who Framed Roger Rabbit, only this time it’s not interrupted.
Dir: Rob Minkoff
Voices: Charles Fleischer, April Winchell, Kathleen Turner

THE TUNNEL
1935
0
Problems beset the building of a tunnel which will link up Britain and America.
Unrealistic and undramatic British sci-fi that has dated badly.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Richard Dix, Leslie Banks, Walter Huston

TURKEY SHOOT
1983
0
Prisoners are forced to participate in a deadly game of survival if they want freedom.
A cheap thrill: a savage variant on The Most Dangerous Game that fell foul of the British censors. It must have seemed exciting back then; now it just looks cheesy.
Dir: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Stars: Steve Railsback, Olivia Hussey, Michael Craig, Carmen Duncan

TURKISH DELIGHT
1973
**
A sculptor has a stormy relationship with a headstrong girl.
A popular film in its own country, an art house/semi porno presentation here, this exhibits the weird Dutch sense of humour, which can be gruesomely fascinating.
Dir: Paul Verhoeven
Stars: Rutger Hauer, Monique van de Ven

TWELFTH NIGHT
1995
*
An identical brother and sister are washed up on foreign shores after a shipwreck.
Slightly stodgy Shakespeare adaptation in which the distinguished cast do their best to liven things up but don't always succeed.
Dir: Trevor Nunn
Stars: Helena Bonham Carter, Nigel Hawthorne, Imogen Stubbs, Ben Kingsley, Mel Smith, Richard E Grant, Imelda Staunton

12 ANGRY MEN
1957
****
Twelve jurors debate a case of murder; initially only one wants to deliver a not guilty verdict, but he gradually manages to persuade the other men.
It's difficult to see how a better film could ever be made of this thought-provoking play; although set almost entirely in one room, it is shot in such a way as to offer variety and vibrancy, with outstanding ensemble performances from a flawless cast to make it one of cinema's most unique and spellbinding experiences.
Dir: Sidney Lumet
Stars: Henry Fonda, Lee J Cobb, Ed Begley, E G Marshall, Martin Balsam, Jack Klugman, John Fiedler, Jack Warden, George Voskovec, Robert Webber, Edward Binns, Joseph Sweeney

TWELVE MONKEYS
1995
*
In a devastated future world, a convict is sent back in time to gather information on the virus that almost wiped out the entire planet.
One of those tiresome films that thinks itself clever by having an unintelligible story and a cacophonous soundtrack, and takes matters far too seriously.
Dir: Terry Gilliam
Stars: Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe, Brad Pitt

20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA
1954
***
A ship sent to investigate a series of mysterious sinkings encounters a sophisticated submarine run by a stern captain.
Engaging fantasy with strong performances, one of Disney's very best live action pictures.
Dir: Richard Fleischer
Stars: Kirk Douglas, James Mason, Paul Lukas, Peter Lorre

28 DAYS LATER
2002
*
A hospital patient awakes to discover that most of London has been wiped out and zombies roam the land.
Glum horror which begins promisingly but then offers little that's new, a threadbare plot and exceptional nastiness.
Dir: Danny Boyle
Stars: Cillian Murphy, Christopher Eccleston, Naomie Harris

28 WEEKS LATER
2007
*
London is overrun by zombies after a containment plan goes wrong.
Decent sequel that once again piles on the unpleasantness in shots of less than half a second long, which makes for a dizzying experience. Only really thrilling in short stabs – including the helicopters vs zombies sequence – it has the familiar modern horror problem of characters that you don’t feel for, least of all the infected.
Dir: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Stars: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Imogen Poots

24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE
2001
**
A TV presenter sets up an influential music label in Manchester.
Quirky and thankfully unpretentious true life drama which provides Coogan with his best non-Partridge role yet.
Dir: Michael Winterbottom
Stars: Steve Coogan, John Thomson, Paddy Considine, John Simm

23 PACES TO BAKER STREET
1956
*
A blind playwright in London overhears a murder being planned.
Attractively set up but edgeless thriller which Hitchcock could have made a classic of. As it is, the wintry '50s London locations atone a little.
Dir: Henry Hathaway
Stars: Van Johnson, Vera Miles, Cecil Parker, Maurice Denham

TWICE BITTEN
1978
0
Female vampires earn cash as prostitutes.
Incompetent trash sold as something naughty but containing just one very long, very boring sex scene.
Dir: Cirio H Santiago
Stars: John Carradine, Karen Stride, Katie Dolan

TWICE ROUND THE DAFFODILS
1962
*
Life in a sanatorium for six men.
A gentle and often quite serious comic drama from the Carry On main men, this relaxed film may not set the world alight but leaves you with a little warm glow inside because of its affectionate portrayal of a secure and serene environment populated by decent men and women.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Juliet Mills, Donald Sinden, Lance Percival, Donald Houston, Andrew Ray, Ronald Lewis, Joan Sims, Jill Ireland, Sheila Hancock, Nanette Newman

TWICE-TOLD TALES
1963
*
Three horror stories based on the writings of Nathaniel Hawthorne: Dr Heidegger's Experiment, Rappaccini's Daughter and The House Of The Seven Gables.
Low budget, confined-to-studio anthology done in an old fashioned style. The first tale is fun, the second is plain daft, the third is predictable.
Dir: Sidney Salkow
Stars: Vincent Price, Sebastian Cabot, Beverly Garland, Richard Denning

TWICE TWO
1933
*
Stan and Ollie have married each other's sisters; they have a party to celebrate their wedding anniversaries but all goes horribly wrong.
The attraction here is the originality of the idea and the way it is executed via trick photography, rather than the routine gags.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall

TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE
1983
*
Four spooky stories.
The series was one of the greatest seen in the early days of television, and this movie, loaded with talent as it is, is mildly disappointing in comparison. Perhaps if three of the tales had not been remakes of originals it would have had more bite; as it is, the prologue in the car and the last tale, featuring Lithgow as a terrified airplane passenger, are the most effective parts of it.
Dir: John Landis, Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, George Miller
Stars: Dan Aykroyd, Vic Morrow, Kathleen Quinlan, John Lithgow, Scatman Crothers, Kevin McCarthy

TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME
1993
0
An FBI agent investigates a girl's disappearance.
Incomprehensible, pretentious and interminable garbage; they should have given out 'I Survived Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me' T-shirts to those who did.
Dir: David Lynch
Stars: Sheryl Lee, Madchen Amick, David Bowie, Heather Graham

TWINS OF EVIL
1971
*
Beautiful twins go to stay with their puritanical uncle but one comes under the influence of a vampire in a nearby castle.
A lively climax follows 80 minutes of up-to-par, sexy vampiric antics given gravitas by Cushing’s fine performance as a woman-burning Puritan. It’s interesting to look back and note that it was only a very small window in history that produced these kinds of likeable features (this was the loose third in Hammer’s Karnstein trilogy, preceded by The Vampire Lovers and Lust For A Vampire, both qv).
Dir: John Hough
Stars: Peter Cushing, Mary Collinson, Madeleine Collinson, Dennis Price, Luan Peters

TWISTED NERVE
1968
*
A young man with a split personality may be a murderer.
Underwhelming suspenser, flabbily and unconvincingly developed, also rather sick.
Dir: Roy Boulting
Stars: Hayley Mills, Hywel Bennett, Billie Whitelaw, Frank Finlay, Barry Foster

TWO EVIL EYES
1990
*
A pair of horror stories: The Facts In The Case Of Mr Valdemar and The Black Cat.
Stylish shocker based on tales by Edgar Allan Poe (see also Tales Of Terror), it might have benefited from being a little shorter.
Dir: George A Romero, Dario Argento
Stars: Adrienne Barbeau, E G Marshall, Harvey Keitel, Kim Hunter

THE TWO FACES OF DR JEKYLL
1960
*
A doctor accidentally unleashes the dark side of his nature.
Perfunctory Hammer adaptation which cheats by not showing the actual transformation from the bearded Jekyll to the clean-shaven Hyde.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Paul Massie, Christopher Lee, Dawn Addams, Oliver Reed

TWO MOON JUNCTION
1989
0
A well-to-do debutante about to be married has a passionate fling with a carnival worker.
Vacuous erotic drama with more preaching than excitement, although the climactic disrobing is undeniably memorable.
Dir: Zalman King
Stars: Sherilyn Fenn, Richard Tyson, Burt Ives

TWO MULES FOR SISTER SARA
1969
0
A nun is rescued from trouble by a drifting cowboy.
Patchy western with some star quality.
Dir: Don Siegel
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine, Manuel Fabregas

TWO OF US
2000 (TV)
*
An imagined version of what happened between John Lennon and Paul McCartney when they met for the last time in New York in 1976.
The idea is a nice one, but to fully succeed this TV movie would have to have been brilliantly scripted and brilliantly acted, and in both areas it falls short – the writing is patchy and often doesn’t ring true and the two actors, especially Lennon’s impersonator, fail to convincingly mimic their men. That said, it’s always a tough job to satisfy Beatles fans (who will be the main audience here), and the film is a decent enough watch, conjuring up wistful thoughts of the Fabs and their towering standing in popular culture.
Dir: Michael Lindsay-Hogg
Stars: Aidan Quinn, Jared Harris

TWO ORPHAN VAMPIRES
1997
0
Two vampire girls are blind by day but can see at night when they go on the prowl.
Regrettably boring chiller which draws out an extremely slim plot to great length through lots of scenes where very little happens.
Dir: Jean Rollin
Stars: Alexandra Pic, Isabelle Teboul, Bernard Charnace

TWO TARS
1928
**
Two sailors, spurred by on by their girlfriends, start a huge ruckus in a traffic jam.
Highly regarded short whose escalation of road rage is expertly executed while never reaching the sort of hilarity pinnacle that they would soon hit, when sound arrived.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Edgar Kennedy, Charlie Hall

TWO THOUSAND MANIACS
1964
0
People are lured to a Centennial celebration and gruesomely butchered.
Tiresome slice of bloody nonsense that sets its gore to corny country music.
Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Stars: Thomas Wood, Connie Mason, Jeffrey Allen

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
1968
****
Man seeks to discover the mystery behind an object buried on the moon.
Long, thoughtful, confusing, brilliant sci-fi sold as the ultimate trip, it not only captures the spirit of the times of when it was made but provides a blueprint for far into the future. A work of outstanding technical, philosophical and scientific accomplishment.
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
Stars: Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood, Leonard Rossiter, Ed Bishop, William Sylvester

2010
1984
*
A joint American-Soviet space expedition heads to Jupiter.
Dry, hollow sequel with a minimum of wonderment.
Dir: Peter Hyams
Stars: Roy Scheider, John Lithgow, Helen Mirren, Bob Balaban, Keir Dullea

TWO WAY STRETCH
1960
**
A prisoner plans the perfect crime - to commit a robbery while still in jail.
Good-natured and pleasantly amusing comedy, the kind that would vanish from Britain in the succeeding decades.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Peter Sellers, David Lodge, Bernard Cribbins, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Maurice Denham, Lionel Jeffries, Irene Handl, Liz Fraser, Beryl Reid